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Halloween Is Tough for Men With Beards
It's hard donning a beard around Halloween time. Pretty much all the popular monsters, ghouls, or ghosts that frequent that time of year are beardless. When was the last time you saw a bearded vampire?
This is why I've compiled a growing (and un-groomed) list of ideas for all you bearded folks out there. Good luck with finding a Halloween costume that suits your manly chin whiskers.
10 Easy Costumes for Bearded Guys
- Brian Wilson
- Mr. T
- Garden Gnome
- Alan From The Hangover
- WWF Macho Man Randy Savage or Hacksaw Jim Duggan
- The Dude From The Big Lebowski
- Prince Vultan
- A Pirate
1. Brian Wilson
Brian Wilson, formerly of the San Francisco Giants and then the Los Angeles Dodgers. You can't be a baseball fan and not know about his beard—it's one of the most awesome beards in all of professional baseball. Many would say he's the guy behind the trend of the heavily bearded men that currently play in the major leagues today. If you're a Giants or Dodgers fan, that makes this Halloween costume that much easier to pull off.
- Start growing your man beard well before Halloween.
- Grab some black hair dye.
- Put on your Giants or Dodgers baseball cap (or, for fun, you can do this with a buddy and have him wear the other!) and you're all set.
It couldn't get much easier than that. Be sure to bring plenty of baseballs to beam at every monster that tries to jump out and frighten you.
2. Mr. T
"I pity the fool who makes fun of my beard!"
Nobody will mess with you when the 50 pounds of gold dangling from your neck are helping to accent that marvelous beard of yours!
- Grab yourself a t-shirt (preferably one with cut-off sleeves)
- Start pumping some iron.
- Give yourself a mohawk.
- Practice your tough guy voice, yelling at everything you can, at least a week in advance.
You'll be the hit of the Halloween party . . . or you'll just be hitting other people when they get near your food. If worse comes to worst, you'll make a great bouncer.
3. Garden Gnome
Everybody loves a garden gnome . . . especially your girlfriend's grandmother. It's a cinch to pull off as well.
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- Grow your beard long and bleach that bad boy, a nice old-man white.
- Grab yourself a big baggy blue t-shirt to go with some big baggy gray pants.
- Top it off with a reddish cone-shaped cap that will likely force you to duck under every doorway all night long.
However, that will be a small price to pay for an entire night of striking gnome poses in well-recognized or peculiar positions. Just stay away from doing so outside in the backyard where the dogs roam, or you could be a familiar place for them to mark their territory.
4. Alan From The Hangover
Alan is Zach Galifianakis's off-beat character from the movies The Hangover, The Hangover Part II, and The Hangover Part III. This costume is probably one of the easiest to pull off.
- Grab yourself a baby holster and a baby doll.
- Find a sweet-looking off-colored t-shirt and a pair of dollar store shades.
You're all set. Plus, you get to tell bad jokes, sing bad songs, and slip "roofies" in drinks all night—totally kidding about that last part, obviously. With that good-looking beard of yours, you'll be the apple of every lady's eye.
5. WWF Macho Man Randy Savage or Hacksaw Jim Duggan
If you're a fan of the old WWF, I can't think of anything more rewarding than walking around all night in a pair of wrestling tights, a feather scarf, a pair of '80s-style sunglasses, and a 2x4 or American flag, and screaming "Hooooooooo!" or "Snap into a Slim Jim!" over and over.
Plus, you get to sneak up on people all night and teach them a lesson with a suplex or knock them in the head with a folding chair. I was just kidding!
Wolverine is a great one to unleash your trimmers on if you're into doing more shapely things to your beard.
- All you need is a wifebeater t-shirt, a cigar, some hair gel, and gigantic blades that protrude in and out of the knuckles.
- What? Do you think that last part might be a little hard to pull off? You're probably right. However, I've found that biker gloves with painted popsicle sticks work rather well. But feel free to get creative with it.
Who wouldn't want to be a God? Zeus would be easy to pull off.
- You'll need a sheet to dress in.
- Make a lighting bolt staff point or strike other Halloween go-ers with . . . and don't forget your long beard to strike fear into their hearts.
Plus, it would give you the chance to stand up at random moments during your Halloween festivities and shout, "Release the Kraken!" and then quietly walk away.
8. The Dude From The Big Lebowski
- Show off your beard and be comfortable as you walk around all night in your pajama pants and one of those cardigan sweaters your grandmother made for you long ago that's stuffed in some box at your parents' house.
- Drink "White Russians" and parade around randomly blabbering to anyone about whatever nonsense lies on the tip of your tongue.
- Just say "Dude" a lot, and you should be able to pull it off just fine.
9. Prince Vultan
Prince Vultan is one of the best characters ever. So, feel free to get creative with your costume here. Nothing says confidence like a grown man running around with a beard, a leather onesie, a golden horned helmet, big black bird wings, and an oversized club.
If you're a fan of the old '80s film Flash Gordon, you too can impress your friends as you help Flash save your Halloween party from destruction by Ming the Merciless. Plus, you get to sport that glorious beer belly and laugh that contagious laugh all night long.
10. A Pirate
"Shiver me timbers!" and "Where's me booty?"
Sure, a pirate is nothing exciting, and pirate costumes for Halloween have been done a thousand times before. However, for a last-minute costume idea for dudes with beards, you can get an eyepatch and a skull and crossbones cap at almost any costume store, so it's nice to have this option if you're pressed for time.
Plus, the best pirates are the ones with beards! You get to act obnoxious all night long by starting every sentence off with "Arrrrggghhh!" and forcing every maiden you come in contact with to come with you or walk the plank!
More Costume Ideas for Dudes With Beards
ZZ Top members
Heisenberg from "Breaking Bad"
A bearded lady
Silent Bob from Jay and Silent Bob
Dumbledore from "Harry Potter"
Gandalf from "Lord of the Rings"
Hagrid from "Harry Potter"
Tom Hanks' "Castaway" character
Rob Burgundy from "Anchorman"
Tormund from "Game of Thrones"
Negan from "The Walking Dead"
What do you think about this "Costumes for Guys With Beards" list?
Virginia Allain from Central Florida on October 28, 2014:
Yep, I wanted my husband to be Steve Austin for Halloween, but his beard doesn't go with the costume.
beard-grooming on October 09, 2014:
This is a great list. There are some additional options here as well: http://beard-grooming.com/halloween-costumes-with-...