20 Funny White Elephant Gifts Under $10
I Did the Hard Work So You Don't Have To
Choose a cheap white elephant gift that's completely original and fully hilarious. I've scoured the Internet and found you 20 gifts under $10 that are sure to be a big hit at this year's shindig. I was sure to avoid the easy bacon flavored and un-cleverly crude pit-falls that plague today's gag gift landscape. I stand fully behind my choices, and I was laughing almost* the entire time I was writing this, so that's gotta be a good sign, right?
*I spent a few weeks writing this. I was not laughing for weeks at a time. I'm not that funny.
What is A White Elephant Party?
A White Elephant Party is a gift exchange type get-together that traditionally takes place during the holiday season. For a White Elephant Party, each guest must bring one wrapped present that is usually in a predetermined price range. Guests will take turns choosing one gift from the pile, and open it in front of everyone. Laughter should hopefully ensue. Or disgust. Or confusion (which does happen sometimes, it's unavoidable).
As everyone opens their gifts, party goers will also have the opportunity to "switch gifts" with other people (aka they get to steal gifts - "switch" implies choice on the part of the other person, which is not the case). The best white elephant gift at a party might get passed around a few times between guests. Trust me, you want the glory of being the person who brought the funniest white elephant gift at the party.
In the simplest terms, White Elephant Gifts are gag gifts. I hate the term "gag gift" because it usually refers to something that is unoriginal and just plain tacky. I like to put more thought into my fart jokes, thank you.
What is Funny?
I know one thing for sure: analyzing funny does not make things funny, but I'm going to try to do it anyway.
In the words of Homer Simpson, "It's funny cause it's true." In the words of Tina Fey, "Comedy is only funny when it is telling the truth." It's honesty that makes something funny. Good comedy effortless and simple, yet specific. Good comedy will allow the reader or viewer to draw a connection to their own life, experiences, or knowledge.
I find that things that are funny are absurd, but are still somehow grounded in reality; some of the best comedy is completely straight faced, ie it's something that isn't even supposed to be funny. At the same time, something that is original and unique will tend to be funnier than something that has been played to death, like a whoopee cushion or bacon flavored anything.
The over-done, overplayed stuff becomes cliched and very much so NOT funny, and that's not what we want here. We want the freshly hilarious.
How Do I Find a Funny White Elephant Gift?
Don't fret my pet! I found you 20 funny white elephant gifts under 10 bucks. Scroll down and see if anything speaks to you.
Names We Know and Love
Nothing sends a shock to the body quite like Jeff Goldblum staring into your soul. Toss this into a manilla envelope or pop it into a cheap, dollar store frame, go to your White Elephant party, and sit back and watch as everyone fights over it.
Most people fall into two categories: They either a) love Celine Dion -or- b) say Celine Dion is terrible, but actually kind of like her. A Best-Of Celine Dion CD makes for an ideal White Elephant gift because people will pretend like it's tacky and awful in the midst of elbowing each other to keep it in their possession.
In my 30+ years on this earth, I've learned that people love receive presents that make noise. It's something everyone you live with - including grumpy roommates and sleeping babies - can enjoy!
What's worse than having to listen to Justin Bieber? Having to listen to Justin Bieber while you're brushing your freakin' teeth. Stay away from my bathroom and my mouth, Bieber.
David Hasselhoff is what White Elephant Exchanges were invented for. This CD has a nearly perfect rating on Amazon with some of the funniest reviews I have ever seen. It's hard to tell which ones are serious and which ones are jokes. It's a metaphor for the man himself.
PS: I have observed that David's quintessential collection does vary in price from $9-$13. Under $10 hunters, you've been given fair warning.
Well no, this next one can only be enjoyed by one person at a time.
Give the timeless gift of Michael Jackson with a single sequined glove. I highly recommend wrapping this in a luxurious velvet lined box so they know they're getting something special.
In Poor Taste
What's a little potty humor between friends?
Apparently gnomes mooning things is a popular version of the garden gnome trend. Apparently someone thought that the mooning gnome needs to be made into a salt and pepper shaker. Apparently someone decided that each of the gnomes exposed butt cheeks should be horrifying and horrifyingly detachable.
Bare butts offend my delicate sensibilities. I like my potty humor to be full of poop, thank you.
I stumbled across this "I'm only speeding because I really have to poop!" bumper sticker and was AMAZED that someone had the same idea as me. That someone must literally be making tens of dollars off this thing.
Poo-Pourri is a potty time deodorizer that you spray into the toilet BEFORE you potty time, meaning your potty will never create any offensive potty smells ever. This one is the perfect size for on-the-go potty.
But seriously, as far as poop deodorizers go, this one is the best I've ever seen. I remember seeing it a few years ago and I instantly categorized it as a gag gift, but it turns out it actually works. No, ifs, ands or butts about it.
PS: There are usually a few different varieties of Poo-Pourri that come in at the under $10 mark, so if the original version is not cutting it, scents "No 2" and "crap shooter" (I'm not making this up) are also available. Be sure to browse your poo deodorizer scent and size options on the product page.
Poo-Pourri... really? Really.
Gifting grotesque amounts of grotesque candy is a White Elephant Party tradition. I've found two grotesque favorites that are sure to elicit a strong reaction.
I would wager that black licorice bridge mix is THE most reviled old lady candy in the world.
Special Note: There is a subset of the population that loves black licorice. I am included in this group, but I cannot, for the life of me imagine going through 2 pounds of it. If you happen to be a black licorice hater and you receive this bounty, heaven help you.
PS: Price fluctuates on this guy a little too (it's sometimes under 10 bucks, sometimes slightly over). I suspect it's because the market for food-that-resemble-erasers is so unpredictable. It's like the Wild West out here.
Wax Bottle Candy is simultaneously the best and worst Halloween candy. The delight of biting off the top of a tiny, brightly colored soda bottle is quickly replaced with disgust and fear as you taste the sickeningly sweet fluid that's inside. Imagine being gifted with two pounds of this crap. Nightmarish, I say.
For The Home
Because all we really want is to display our flawless taste for our all our houseguests, snoopy neighbors, and burglars to see, amirite?
Imagine you come home from a long days work and you smell something delicious coming from the kitchen. You close your eyes and exhale as you tip toe through the entryway, only to find a White Castle Candle sitting in the middle of your kitchen table. Yes. A candle that smells like hamburgers. Delight.
PS: Amazon recently bumped up the price of this item, so it's above $10. It's so awesome though; I couldn't bear to remove it from this guide.
I'm not sure if I should be offended by or terrified of this Chocolate Obama Head Soap.
... and a serious one. I'm serious though. Seriously.
A warning: If you bring this to a White Elephant party, people will face punch each for it. Every man for himself! Hold your wives close and your mistresses closer! Keep your children near! But children are so unclean and mucus covered, right? Keep your children in a room that is near to the room you're in!
As Seen on TV
Infomercial products make the some of the funniest white elephant gifts because they are often products that other people have heard of; the terrible ones hold a special place in our collective pop culture minds. The TRULY awful ones are dirt cheap.
I have no idea why a product that makes you look like a Jersey Shore outcast while borrowing its name from the beautiful image of a butt-armpit didn't flourish in our market!
It's hard to believe that the Shake Weight has been around since 2009. It has been such a gift to the infomercial world. If you don't understand why it belongs on a White Elephant gift guide, then: a) Google the infomercial b) watch it -and- c) use your imagination.
Bump it Up! (Bumpits in Action)
Looking Your Best
An inflatable unicorn horn is perfect for all the rainbows, glitter, and magic you want to spread on the go. Keep it in your pocket or purse and blow it up for emergency fantasmikness.
Also, it should be noted that the awesome model pictured here is also featured on handy travel tin the Unicorn Horn comes in.
You get 10 fake arm tattoo sleeves for a ridiculously cheap price, making it easy to spread this gift out over multiple festivities. Either that or give it out as one gift, because who wants to bear the shame of wearing the same tattoo sleeve day after day?
And finally for the food lovers...
What can you accomplish while wearing a pizza hat? What is NOT possible when you're wearing a pizza hat!? Become a president! Rule your school! Order a pizza and answer the door wearing it!
You got something against pizza, bro?
Maybe a hamburger hat is more your speed. This one is embellished with some stylish sesame action.
I can't take you seriously with that wiener on your head. GET OUT.
Really Cheap Ideas
Don't like buying crap online? Go to a dollar store or similar discount store and browse the food or toy isles for the weirdest stuff. I went to a Big Lots a few weeks ago, and they had the nastiest candy I've ever seen. Buy a few bags of it and your fellow white elephant party goers will be horfing* right along with you.
*horfing verb \'horfÂ·ing\ - a word that the kids use to refer to vomiting, particularly after eating a lot of crap
EVEN MORE WHITE ELEPHANT GIFT IDEAS
This list has a companion article with some top shelf White Elephant Gifts. And by "top shelf" I mean mostly in the $15 to $20 dollar range, with maybe two that are actually fancier.