48 Funny Birthday Quotes, Sayings, and Greetings

Updated on July 28, 2017

Happy birthday to you if yours is today. I know you're old . . . but try to smile. Enjoy!

  1. You would have loved the gift I didn’t bother getting you.
  2. When I have a birthday, I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
  3. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
  4. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
  5. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  6. When I was born, I was so surprised that I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
  7. Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
  8. With age comes wisdom. You’re one of the wisest people I know.
  9. The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
  10. I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
  11. You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
  12. You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar . . . Yung No Mo
  13. I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!
  14. You’re not 40, you’re 18 . . . with 22 years of experience!
  15. Birthdays are like boogers. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
  16. You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!
  17. Old enough to know better, young enough to still do it.
  18. Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.
  19. I’m just here for the cake.
  20. If you want to look young and thin on your birthday . . . then hang around a bunch of old, fat people.
  21. Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday . . . and assume I said them. Happy birthday!
  22. There are lots of good people in the world. One of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
  23. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday, but never remembers her age.
  24. Time and tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
  25. Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, "Happy Birthday."
  26. Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
  27. Looking 50 is great . . . if you’re 60.
  28. Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
  29. So far, this is the oldest I have ever been.
  30. It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.
  31. Don’t forget to wear your birthday suit . . . but check it for wrinkles first!
  32. You’re so old that when you looked at your birth certificate, it said expired.
  33. People say that the good die young, so I guess that make you an old badass!
  34. It’s proven that at the age of 41, you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
  35. Another year, another new place that aches.
  36. It's okay to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.
  37. An old fart is as good as a new one.
  38. Don't think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.
  39. The younger you try to look, the older you actually are.
  40. Count your blessings, not your wrinkles.
  41. May you live as long as you want to, and want to as long as you live.
  42. Wishing you many more candles and a cake big enough to fit them all on.
  43. You have reached the age where all compliments will be followed by "for your age."
  44. Don't forget to wear your sunglasses when the cake is served. Happy birthday.
  45. The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
  46. No wise man ever wished to be younger.
  47. Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
  48. When I die, I want it to be on my 100th birthday, in my beach house on Maui, and I want my husband to be so upset that he has to drop out of college.

Happy birthday to you and yours!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Laviza profile image

      Laviza 

      14 seconds ago

    • profile image

      natty 

      2 weeks ago

      awesome quotes!

    • JeanReinhart profile image

      JeanReinhart 

      10 months ago

      Required gift ideas for my daughter already ordered a big cake and venue for celebration. but the gift is pending also if you have any best birthday wishes for daughter also send me it will be very greatfull.

      http://happybirthdaylines.com/awesome-birthday-wis...

    • profile image

      toni 

      2 years ago

      I have found very funny collection of birthday wishes. i love it and I laughed a lot.

      its really Great collection of funny birthday wishes.

      http://www.occasionsmessages.com/birthday/top-106-...

    • profile image

      tech3331 

      2 years ago

      Wonderful article to read. Thanks for sharing this.

      http://14thfebvalentinesday.com

    • profile image

      jessi 

      2 years ago

      Here is the most beautiful

      http://www.freshmorningquotes.com/100-heart-touchi...

      heart touching birthday wishes for your loved once. these are the most amazing collection of hearty warm birthday wishes for you

    • profile image

      Julia Josh 

      2 years ago

      I have found another collection of funny birthday wishes - Many of them made me laugh like mad. They are awesome, just check here: http://www.cardswishes.com/birthday/100-funny-birt...

    • profile image

      Aadu Thoma 

      2 years ago

    • profile image

      Marie Johnson12 

      4 years ago

      Great collection of birthday quotes. You should also check out this nice collection : http://www.wishesgreeting.com/bday-wishes/

    • profile image

      ravi 

      4 years ago

    • profile image

      Jeremy Rawlings 

      5 years ago

      Plenty of ideas all on the one hub!

    • profile image

      lucas 

      5 years ago

      dd d d d d d

    • fresh2def05 profile imageAUTHOR

      fresh2def05 

      6 years ago from Louisville, Ky

      Hi bac2basics,

      First I would like to wish you a happy belated birthday. Im sorry to hear it wasn't great as all birthdays should be. Think about it this way; at least you have plenty more to come.. Im glad you enjoyed this hub and I wish you a great birthday next year.

    • fresh2def05 profile imageAUTHOR

      fresh2def05 

      6 years ago from Louisville, Ky

      Jennzie,

      Thanks for reading and happy early birthday...

    • bac2basics profile image

      Anne 

      6 years ago from Spain

      Hi Fresh. I couldn´t help but read this hub after seeing the photo..Hilarious. I love numbers 28 and 30. It actually was my birthday a week ago today, and I was having a really bad one..shame I hadn´t picked this great hub up then. Oh well never mind...maybe next year will be a great shin-dig. Thanks for the laugh.

    • jennzie profile image

      Jenn 

      6 years ago from Pennsylvania

      My birthday's not for another 2 months but I still really enjoyed these quotes. :-) Voted up, funny and shared!

    • fresh2def05 profile imageAUTHOR

      fresh2def05 

      6 years ago from Louisville, Ky

      Thanks tillsontitan! Im glad you enjoyed them. And yes, that is one of my favorites also. Thanks again for reading.

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 

      6 years ago from New York

      These are a laugh riot! One is better than the other; among others I liked "Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest." Loved it!

      Voted up and funny.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, holidappy.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://holidappy.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)