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Funny Responses to "Happy Birthday"
“Happy birthday!” We hear this greeting every time we reach the commemorative day of our birth. While birthday greetings and wishes are always pleasant to receive, many of us find ourselves at a loss as to how to respond.
If you’re tired of using the generic response, “thank you,” then the funny replies to birthday greetings that you’ll find here might just do the trick! Use this list as you please. I guarantee that with this collection of wacky replies, your birthday won’t just be happy—it'll be funny, too!
What to Say Instead of “Thank You!” When Greeted With “Happy Birthday!”
- Thanks! You too.
- Who are you again?
- I know.
- Are you my present?
- I love birthdays, but too many will definitely kill me!
- Oh no; not again!
- Sorry, I don’t accept greetings. I only accept cash donations.
- What’s so fricking happy about it?!
- Eh, we all die eventually.
- Is it?
- Blah! Don't tell me what to do!
- A gatecrasher! I’m calling security.
- Oh crap, I totally forgot to send you an invitation!
- I hereby declare this special day a national holiday.
- How about thanks?
- It’s going to be a month-long celebration, so prepare to party!
- And a happy death day to you! *smiles alarmingly*
- I'll let you know how happy I am after I figure out the cost of your gift!
- I should thank Facebook for making you remember my birthday.
- News flash: It's not my birthday today!
- Hmmm . . . where's my cake?
- Prepare the drinks because we’ll be drinking till morning!
- Yay! Happy birthday to me!
- And a happy new year!
- I hope so.
- What do you mean?
- Go home; there’s no party here.
Hilarious Responses to Birthday Greetings
- Aww . . . you remembered! I guess your memory’s not too shabby after all.
- How do you plan on making me happy tonight?
- I'm one year closer to death. How is that considered happy?
- Enough talk—what did you get me?
- Thanks! Now let’s get drunk!
- Oh goodie, I just leveled up! What new skills did I unlock?
- How did you know it’s my birthday today? You stalker!
- Are you going to jump out of a cake for me?
- Before you proceed, I’m warning you that any inappropriate wisecrack you make about my age may result in serious injuries.
- I see "thank you" as a fitting response for your boring birthday greeting. You didn’t come with a gift. How could you?
- How dare you!
- Oh god, I'm nearing my expiration date!
- Who told you that? The police?
- I’ll be poorer once I treat you for my birthday today. What exactly is there to be happy about?
- I always knew that you were the kind of person who wouldn’t miss the chance to do something just for free food.
- Where did you get that information?
- Isn’t your birthday wish for me a copied one? Where did you steal it from? Anyway, thanks, buddy!
- Only presents will make me feel good today. What have you got?
- My whole day today is fully booked! By any chance, did you make a reservation?
- Your birthday wish and greeting just lifted me up to cloud nine!
- It’s only going to be happy if I get to spend the whole day with you!
- It is? Oh no, that means I need to renew my registration!
- It's the day I came out of my mom’s vagina.
- You can start showering me with gifts at any time. Go on; I’m waiting.
- Did you know that people who have the most birthdays live the longest? Are you mind-blown yet?
- Thank you so much for the wishes. My lifetime friendship is the only treat you will get from me.
- I’m another year older and still as sexy as ever.
Read More From Holidappy
How to Respond to Birthday Wishes in a Humorous Way
- I survived yet another revolution around the sun. What's there to be happy about?
- Your compelling presence today on my birthday made me check my account balance.
- Shake that booty for me, and my birthday is complete.
- Just a birthday wish? I won’t guarantee a party now, but yeah, a birthday present might do the trick.
- Stop bugging me with that! I don’t do birthdays or any other selfish holidays.
- Thanks for all the birthday greetings, everyone! My phone was in my pocket on vibration mode all day, so every greeting was truly a gift.
- Your birthday greeting is riddled with grammatical mistakes! Return it to me once you manage to correct it.
- Is that the best you can do?
- Who told you that? That’s supposed to be top secret!
- Oooh, thank you! You see, I expect nothing less than a Lexus from you.
- You mean to tell me that today’s my birthday?! Ugh!
- You’re lying! My birthday was last year.
- Shhh! Not too loud. My wallet will be in danger if everyone learns it’s my birthday today.
- In dog years, I’d be dead by now.
- Yup, today marks the anniversary of my successful escape from my mom’s womb.
- Okay, I’ll really stop counting the years after this one.
- If all the good ones die young, then that means I’m a total badass!
- Who cares about greetings?! Bring out the alcohol stat!
- You better not be empty-handed or else . . .
- I know you’re here for the cake!
- I love you too.
- Forget we’re friends if you tell me that your present for me today is our friendship.
- What is the meaning of life? Tell me!
- Great! This is the only day when I have an excuse to fatten myself silly.
- A donation really goes a long way—especially on a day like this!
- How will you make it happy? Come on, show some love!
- I’m so excited! There are 364 days left before my next birthday!
- You didn’t give me a gift last year, so I’m expecting two gifts this year.
Ivana Divac from Serbia on March 10, 2020:
Thank you for this article! Everyone needs a bit of laugh every now and then.
Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on March 27, 2019:
Thanks for adding fun and laughter to the day. Good job!