Over 50 Funny Things to Write in a Bridal Shower Card
A party is a great way to celebrate the big day before you say any vows. Surprise the bride with a homemade card and a clever saying! Here I offer:
- Goofy quips
- Sardonic jokes
- Dirty, quirky witticism
- Sentimental one-liners
There's something for every bride-to-be!
Goofy Quips for a Bridal Shower
- Why are you getting married? Ignore us we're totally jealous of all the gifts you're going to get.
- Is he the apple of your eye or is he the boot up your ass?
- Can you give us some tips on how to get us a guy just like you did? Or you could just raffle yours off to one of us? No? Ok, just spitballing.
- Congratulations on getting tagged, pretty soon you'll be out.
- You've won the best man, just remember on your wedding day to marry the right best man.
- Let's go two out of three to see who gets him.
- I'm so jealous you're marrying him! I'm fuming mad! How come you get everything you want, and I get nothing! Why? Just tell me why? Never mind I know it's because you're hard to resist. I can't even resist you.
- We are gathered here today to unite this Bride with her friends so she can have one last hurrah before she bites the big one.
- You're the kind of woman any man would want, unfortunately, you already picked one!
- Train him from the start! Actually forget that. You're the one who needs training.
- You're marrying our best friend. There's a movie about how I really feel about that.
- Tweet out your hopes and dreams, 'cause Twitter needs some good news fast.
- Missing your marriage would be like missing the event of the year because no one can believe you finally said yes!
- Sometimes the road takes you home and other times the road takes you to his home. His is nicer, congrats!
- Are you marrying for money or love? We have a bet going and I want to win the pool. Do me a solid, say money.
- Sometimes it's the Groom who garners all the attention, never mind, that cracked me up too.
- Marriage is when comedy and tragedy intersect.
Sardonic Phrases for the Sassy Bride
- Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage, will sometimes make you scream.
- Don't worry, when you're married, not every day will be good, but forget about all that, cause your wedding memories will last you a lifetime!
- We're celebrating your soon-to-be new title of 'Mrs.' And, actually, we're calling this a going away party.
- You are creating another line to your family's ancestry, is that wise?
- The gifts you get today are meant to make up for those nightmare days of marriage! Just kidding, we know you're the boss and the nightmares will only be his.
- Time heals all wounds, but once you get married, all bets are off!
- This is the most important tip I can ever give you in regards to marriage; when it gets rough, go physical with long walks, swimming, biking, running, jumping jacks, tennis, sit-ups. Just keep moving ... away from the bedroom.
- He loves you with all his heart, and we're still trying to figure out why?
- Your wedding night is supposed to be a tender magical time. Forget that. You're going to be so exhausted after the wedding that you'll be lucky to stay awake long enough to remember you're now a wife. Plus if you don't consummate the marriage it gives you one more night to annul it if you want!
- Give it time, you'll want out.
- Crying about your problems won't fix them, marrying your problems is akin to setting your hair on fire! Are you sure about this?
- Brides are bright, cheerful, spectacular, envied and incredible hosts. Then there's you.
- We love you tons. You are our best friend and we're behind you all the way through this wedding. We'll be there for you even if you back out.
- Your Bridal Shower is going to be the time of my life, mainly because that's the closest I'll get to marriage and the best part, gifts!
- You two look so happy together! It has me worried. That's not natural.
- We hope you make each other laugh because you're both gonna need those skills to keep the fire going.
- Stay in shape in case this one doesn't work out.
- Stay strong, it's downhill from here on in.
- You're young, hot, and smart. After you're married the clock starts ticking on everything.
- Take it from someone whose been married for decades; you're going to have to eat a lot of garbage to get through this.
Dirty Jokes for a Bride-To-Be
- When you get married you give up your purity. We couldn't stop laughing either! Congrats.
- They call it a "Bridal Shower" 'cause it's suppose to be clean. We've decided a little filth is necessary for this one.
- If you think marriage is the right move, then we're here to cheer you on into battle!
- You are being showered before you become a bride, that's cause most brides-to-be need cleaning.
- The reason you're getting married has been spreading like wildfire, that's 'cause we're making it up behind your back! We're helping you here, we're trying to put a scar on your perfect, angelic reputation. Nobody is that clean. You don't need a Bridal Shower, you need Bridal mud wrestling.
- When we know better we do better. It looks like you finally figured that little quote out.
- Congrats, you nabbed yourself the hottest dude in town. You obviously have skills none of us were aware of.
Sentimental Advice for a Not-Yet-Newlywed
- You've gone the distance, you're almost at the finish line. Actually it's the new start line. Your beginning is the end of our childhood. Give that some thought!
- You must be a unicorn because your man is magical. That's the only way to nab a unicorn.
- Pretty soon you're getting another ring, yippee!
- Get ready for the ride of your life, marriage is like a roller coaster, it's filled with ups, downs, dips, valleys, and sometimes you get a break and it's calm for a second.
- If you want everything to work between you and hubby and you want it bad enough, you still won't get it! Crap is gonna happen.
- Marriage is spring, the honeymoon is summer, staying together through trouble is fall, winter is the final test. If you mess up, rinse and repeat.
- As a gift, I want to give you my love, best wishes, hope-filled prayers, and good thoughts. I'm tapped out so I'm going sentimental.
- Getting married is like baking a cake. Right now you're at the stage where you reach in the cupboard and get the bowl. It's gonna take a lifetime for that sucker to cook.
- Family is everything, so don't forget us!
- Take a honeymoon because life is gonna get so busy you'll be lucky if you have time to breathe.
- Getting married was an excellent idea. I hope you get a big haul.
- Brides without the 'zilla are much nicer to be around.
© 2018 Barbara Tremblay Cipak