Over 50 Funny Things to Write in a Bridal Shower Card

Updated on October 11, 2019
Brite-Ideas profile image

Barbara has spent over forty years writing poems, lyrics, and sayings for cards, and interpreting the meanings and messages in song.

Funny Things to Write in a Bridal Shower Card
Funny Things to Write in a Bridal Shower Card | Source

A party is a great way to celebrate the big day before you say any vows. Surprise the bride with a homemade card and a clever saying! Here I offer:

  • Goofy quips
  • Sardonic jokes
  • Dirty, quirky witticism
  • Sentimental one-liners

There's something for every bride-to-be!

All you need is love . . . and the occasional beverage.
All you need is love . . . and the occasional beverage. | Source

Goofy Quips for a Bridal Shower

  • Why are you getting married? Ignore us we're totally jealous of all the gifts you're going to get.
  • Is he the apple of your eye or is he the boot up your ass?
  • Can you give us some tips on how to get us a guy just like you did? Or you could just raffle yours off to one of us? No? Ok, just spitballing.
  • Congratulations on getting tagged, pretty soon you'll be out.
  • You've won the best man, just remember on your wedding day to marry the right best man.
  • Let's go two out of three to see who gets him.
  • I'm so jealous you're marrying him! I'm fuming mad! How come you get everything you want, and I get nothing! Why? Just tell me why? Never mind I know it's because you're hard to resist. I can't even resist you.
  • We are gathered here today to unite this Bride with her friends so she can have one last hurrah before she bites the big one.
  • You're the kind of woman any man would want, unfortunately, you already picked one!
  • Train him from the start! Actually forget that. You're the one who needs training.
  • You're marrying our best friend. There's a movie about how I really feel about that.
  • Tweet out your hopes and dreams, 'cause Twitter needs some good news fast.
  • Missing your marriage would be like missing the event of the year because no one can believe you finally said yes!
  • Sometimes the road takes you home and other times the road takes you to his home. His is nicer, congrats!
  • Are you marrying for money or love? We have a bet going and I want to win the pool. Do me a solid, say money.
  • Sometimes it's the Groom who garners all the attention, never mind, that cracked me up too.
  • Marriage is when comedy and tragedy intersect.

A little sass in your card can light up a nervous bride.
A little sass in your card can light up a nervous bride. | Source

Sardonic Phrases for the Sassy Bride

  • Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, marriage, marriage, marriage, marriage, will sometimes make you scream.
  • Don't worry, when you're married, not every day will be good, but forget about all that, cause your wedding memories will last you a lifetime!
  • We're celebrating your soon-to-be new title of 'Mrs.' And, actually, we're calling this a going away party.
  • You are creating another line to your family's ancestry, is that wise?
  • The gifts you get today are meant to make up for those nightmare days of marriage! Just kidding, we know you're the boss and the nightmares will only be his.
  • Time heals all wounds, but once you get married, all bets are off!
  • This is the most important tip I can ever give you in regards to marriage; when it gets rough, go physical with long walks, swimming, biking, running, jumping jacks, tennis, sit-ups. Just keep moving ... away from the bedroom.
  • He loves you with all his heart, and we're still trying to figure out why?
  • Your wedding night is supposed to be a tender magical time. Forget that. You're going to be so exhausted after the wedding that you'll be lucky to stay awake long enough to remember you're now a wife. Plus if you don't consummate the marriage it gives you one more night to annul it if you want!
  • Give it time, you'll want out.
  • Crying about your problems won't fix them, marrying your problems is akin to setting your hair on fire! Are you sure about this?
  • Brides are bright, cheerful, spectacular, envied and incredible hosts. Then there's you.
  • We love you tons. You are our best friend and we're behind you all the way through this wedding. We'll be there for you even if you back out.
  • Your Bridal Shower is going to be the time of my life, mainly because that's the closest I'll get to marriage and the best part, gifts!
  • You two look so happy together! It has me worried. That's not natural.
  • We hope you make each other laugh because you're both gonna need those skills to keep the fire going.
  • Stay in shape in case this one doesn't work out.
  • Stay strong, it's downhill from here on in.
  • You're young, hot, and smart. After you're married the clock starts ticking on everything.
  • Take it from someone whose been married for decades; you're going to have to eat a lot of garbage to get through this.

Less than clean jokes for your bridal party card can make for a good laugh.
Less than clean jokes for your bridal party card can make for a good laugh. | Source

Dirty Jokes for a Bride-To-Be

  • When you get married you give up your purity. We couldn't stop laughing either! Congrats.
  • They call it a "Bridal Shower" 'cause it's suppose to be clean. We've decided a little filth is necessary for this one.
  • If you think marriage is the right move, then we're here to cheer you on into battle!
  • You are being showered before you become a bride, that's cause most brides-to-be need cleaning.
  • The reason you're getting married has been spreading like wildfire, that's 'cause we're making it up behind your back! We're helping you here, we're trying to put a scar on your perfect, angelic reputation. Nobody is that clean. You don't need a Bridal Shower, you need Bridal mud wrestling.
  • When we know better we do better. It looks like you finally figured that little quote out.
  • Congrats, you nabbed yourself the hottest dude in town. You obviously have skills none of us were aware of.

A little advice goes a long way.
A little advice goes a long way. | Source

Sentimental Advice for a Not-Yet-Newlywed

  • You've gone the distance, you're almost at the finish line. Actually it's the new start line. Your beginning is the end of our childhood. Give that some thought!
  • You must be a unicorn because your man is magical. That's the only way to nab a unicorn.
  • Pretty soon you're getting another ring, yippee!
  • Get ready for the ride of your life, marriage is like a roller coaster, it's filled with ups, downs, dips, valleys, and sometimes you get a break and it's calm for a second.
  • If you want everything to work between you and hubby and you want it bad enough, you still won't get it! Crap is gonna happen.
  • Marriage is spring, the honeymoon is summer, staying together through trouble is fall, winter is the final test. If you mess up, rinse and repeat.
  • As a gift, I want to give you my love, best wishes, hope-filled prayers, and good thoughts. I'm tapped out so I'm going sentimental.
  • Getting married is like baking a cake. Right now you're at the stage where you reach in the cupboard and get the bowl. It's gonna take a lifetime for that sucker to cook.
  • Family is everything, so don't forget us!
  • Take a honeymoon because life is gonna get so busy you'll be lucky if you have time to breathe.
  • Getting married was an excellent idea. I hope you get a big haul.
  • Brides without the 'zilla are much nicer to be around.

© 2018 Barbara Tremblay Cipak

Add your own lines to write in a card

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 

      11 months ago from North Central Florida

      O my I needed some humor just now Thank you for sharing this. Angels are on the way to you this evening. ps

    • Brite-Ideas profile imageAUTHOR

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 

      20 months ago from Toronto, Canada

      lol, fun conversations

    • sangre profile image

      Sp Greaney 

      20 months ago from Ireland

      Definitely going to have some chatter after writing these on your card. ☺

    • Brite-Ideas profile imageAUTHOR

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 

      2 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      lol, thank you :)

    • Neetisha Dey profile image

      Neeetisha Dey 

      2 years ago from mumbai

      those are really funny and interesting ideas you got there.

    • aesta1 profile image

      Mary Norton 

      2 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Some of these are really funny. I don't know how you think up of these ideas but they are really great.

    • Coffeequeeen profile image

      Louise Powles 

      2 years ago from Norfolk, England

      Lol there's some good ideas there!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, holidappy.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)