Barbara has spent over forty years writing poems, lyrics, and sayings for cards, and interpreting the meanings and messages in song.
When you need to write something funny in a goodbye card but just can't get the neurons flowing, use these suggested sayings as inspiration or just write them as is directly inside your card.
Below you'll find funny goodbye sayings about coworkers leaving a job and friends/family going through a breakup or moving away.
If you're not into cards, use these sayings as sarcastic humor in a goodbye text.
Funny Things to Write in a Goodbye Card for a Coworker
- Heard you're leaving; even the little birdie is a gossiping witch.
- Please don't go until we hold an office party. We all want cake.
- Since we found out you're leaving, we've been secretly measuring your office.
- Don't go; we can't handle all the crap that's gonna fall on our lap.
- You work harder than anyone I know, including me, so I'm in serious trouble if you're going!
- Don't go out with a whimper; leave a trail of your awesomeness behind.
- It's ridiculous; you shouldn't be leaving. Our incompetence is going to really stand out now.
- In life there are takers and givers; you're taking yourself from us, and we're going to give you a second chance to rethink the whole thing!
- When you're missing us, remembering how you used to roll your eyes at us most days.
- We're going to miss you, but mostly we're going to miss how you carried the load around here.
- You work well with others, but we're easy to get along with. So, yah.
- I can't even. You're leaving? Well, I'm quitting because I'm gonna get stuck with all your work.
- Time teaches us a lot of things, mostly that all good things come to an end. You're leaving, that sucks.
- If these walls could talk, we could give you one heck of a send-off!
- You've left a big impression here; now it's time to let someone else have the glory!
- We all got together to get you this card because with our salaries that's all we can afford.
- So since nobody is replacing you, do we get your salary divided amongst us?
- Don't worry about anything; it couldn't possibly be any worse than working around here!
- You're so damn lucky! We can't believe you get to the job of your dreams when all we get is the remnants of your nightmares!
- Traveling into the future armed with, well, nothing. Way to go!
Funny Things to Write in a Goodbye Card for Someone Going Through a Breakup
- Freedom means a lot when it's the one thing you haven't been able to claim for so long, so go do all the things that fool prevented you from doing!
- You can do anything after surviving that nightmare relationship! The world is yours now!
- Breakups are like icicles: at first, you're frozen and unable to move but then you start to melt right back into life.
- The gifts you are given make you who you are, and sometimes those gifts are hidden in the break-ups that should have happened long ago! Congrats on finally getting the best gift.
- He's out of your life and now you're back in our lives. Welcome back!
- Don't cry; I'm here to take you out and enjoy every single thing you've missed!
- You had the courage to walk out and let's face it, that took more guts than most of us have; congrats!
- One down.
- You're daring to dream; oh crap, forget that; you've been freed from hell!
- In your battle for independence, I say congrats on the win!
- Going solo; that's a hell of lot more fun anyway.
- The next chapter in life is a blank page, and that's a heck of a lot better than the previous one.
Your life was on hold; now that you're single again, it's back on!
- You seem to have trouble keeping a relationship going. Lucky you!
- When you know where you're going, it's wise to rid yourself of those who would stop you! Congrats on doing that.
- Without the extra weight, you're lighter and free; congrats on reentering the single scene.
- Someone is out there who has been tagged with your name; now you're free to find them.
- It ain't over til it's over. Guess what? It's over.
- You're out of that disaster; congrats on breaking free.
- Your life was on hold; now that you're single again, it's back on!
- Don't cry because it's over, cry because it took you this long to come to your senses!
- If the world had one message to give you during your time of turmoil, I'm guessing that word would be 'finally.'
- Breaking up is hard to do, but on the upside, you are single again!
- Ending it was better than starting it.
- Your heart is held in my hands while you go through the healing process of ditching this kook.
- You are never alone, especially now that you're broken up! You were more alone together.
- The rules are not fair and the game is rigged, but now you're the winner because you're free from the clutch of that so-called relationship.
- You've taken the plunge back into life, and who can blame you!
- You've been trapped for so long in that dead-end relationship that you'll have to take a month to figure out how to get somewhere now.
- If there were ever a way to describe your relationship that is no more, I would have called it 'the most confusing time of your life'. Glad you're out!
- Just because you're broken up doesn't mean you have to be broken up.
- Goodbye means you never have to say sorry.
Funny Things to Write in a Goodbye Card for Someone Who Is Moving Away
- I'm going to miss your crazy ways.
- Without you, who will I blame for all my crap?
- When you leave, people are gonna wonder where the troublemaker went.
- Don't move away; I need you to deflect my antics.
- Stars always move on, so why the heck are you going anywhere?
- We can't hold you back even though we tried every underhanded trick there was.
- So you're leaving us? Are you sure that's wise? We could end up in a bag of trouble with you gone.
- The good ones always leave, so we can't figure out why you're going.
- You're going halfway around the world, but I'll still be able to track your every move.
- Take the world by the tail and show it whose boss.
I would miss you, except now there's Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, FaceTime, and Skype. Will we ever be free of each other?
- You're about to show everyone in your new city what a hurricane really is!
- You're a traveling soul. Either that or you're just scared to get to know anyone.
- We hope you enjoy your new home as much as we enjoyed your annoyingly wonderful personality.
- Leaving the past behind is impossible because I can hunt you down on social media. You can run but you cannot hide.
- I would miss you, except now there's Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, FaceTime, and Skype. Will we ever be free of each other?
- No matter how far you move away, I'll see you everyday online anyway, so go ahead, change your address. It makes no difference; I'll find you.
- It used to be that moving away meant letter writing, long-distance phone calls, and plane rides to see each other. Now you're just an internet connection away, so go ahead, move!
- I'll miss you, but ignore me, I'm a weepy-eyed baby anyway.
- Head out into the wild. Well ok, head out into a new city.
- You're moving from the city to a small town. Wow, culture shock is on the way.
© 2018 Barbara Tremblay Cipak
Barbara Tremblay Cipak (author) from Toronto, Canada on July 13, 2018:
Mary you're right, we're all so connected that there almost is never a goodbye!
Mary Norton from Ontario, Canada on July 13, 2018:
There are always people leaving our lives so this is handy. I like No.15 in the last list. Yesterday, I had friends from grade school who came to visit and we all connected on social media. We sure can't leave each other now.
Barbara Tremblay Cipak (author) from Toronto, Canada on July 12, 2018:
Virginia, good one. Thank you. And yes, couldn't agree more, Facebook can be a useful tool.
Barbara Tremblay Cipak (author) from Toronto, Canada on July 12, 2018:
Lorelei, lol, thank you
Virginia Allain from Central Florida on July 12, 2018:
Don't be a stranger, let's keep in touch on Facebook.
Actually, FB has been a boon for me to stay connected with former co-workers and even some friends from high school.
Lorelei Cohen from Canada on July 12, 2018:
OMG the eggs are so funny. Thank you for this wonderful list of good-bye quotes and sayings. You certainly brought a smile to my morning.