Oyewole Folarin loves writing greeting-card messages and helping others find the words they need for life's special moments.
How best to support a parent, son, daughter, family member, or friend who is struggling with the hurt of separation or divorce? It can be hard to find the right words to say: they feel hopeless, insecure, worried, lost, lonely, depressed, and distressed during their divorce.
You recognize their emotions, and you want to use the right words and tone to encourage them to stop thinking about the past with their ex and move on in life. In this article, I have provided some basic things and messages that you can say and write that can and will help someone going through the pain of a divorce or breakup to move forward.
What to Say to Someone Going Through a Divorce or Separation
What to think about when writing an encouragement card:
- Be empathetic. Recognize their emotions and then use the proper words and tone to convey your sentiment.
- Be positive. Send words of comfort and encouragement that can and will give them hope, lift their spirit, or help them stop worrying about the past with their ex.
- Let them know that they are loved.
- Reach out to them and offer your support.
- If the divorced person is religious, you can send him or her prayers or Qur’an or Bible verses to strengthen their faith, lift their spirit, and help them get over the pain of separation or divorce. You can add a note such as the following Qur’an or Bible verses to your message. It will certainly be a comfort to a religious woman or man who has been hurt by breakup or divorce.
Spiritual Verses of Encouragement
For a Faithful Muslim
- “….And He knows whatever there is in (or on) the earth and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth or anything fresh or dry, but is written in a clear book.” — Surat Al-An’ am 6:59
- “If Allah knows there is anything good in your hearts, He will give you something better than what has been taken from you, and He will forgive you, and Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.” — Surat Al- Anfal 8:70
- “No calamity befalls but by the permission of Allah, and whosoever believes in Allah, He will guide his heart. And Allah is the All-knower of everything.” Surat At- Taghabun 64:11
For a Faithful Christian
- “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” — Proverbs 3:5-6
- “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” — Joshua 1:9
- “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27
- “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.” — Psalm 119:50
Inspirational Quotes Examples
If you aren’t sure what to say or write, you can quote someone else.
- “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” — Lao Tzu
- “The knowledge of the past stays with us. To let go is to release the images and emotions, the grudges and fears, the clingings and disappointments of the past that bind our spirit.” — Jack Kornfield
- “New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” — Lao Tzu
- “The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” — Steve Maraboli
Example Words of Encouragement Card Messages
This collection of messages will help inspire your own words of comfort:
- Don’t allow your emotional turmoil to cause more harm to your health. Think positive thoughts, make the most of your time with us, and keep looking forward towards better days.
- Don’t spend your leisure time dwelling on the past. Filling your days with positive things can make a great difference in your life. Remember that I’m always here for you!
- Life is made up of many ups and downs. Don’t be discouraged, but just stay positive, have faith, and believe that things will bounce back and be even better than before.
- We’re thinking of you. Please don’t allow the memories of your old life to affect your well-being. We love you!
- Just because things are not going your way doesn’t mean that you’re a failure. I hope you know that I’ll always be here to help.
- This is not the time to feel guilty but the time to think about where you want to be and make a realistic plan to get there. Remember, life is short—make the most of it.
- Stop dwelling on the past. Stay positive and life will become a lot more enjoyable.
- Life is what you make out of it—don’t waste your time thinking about the past life you shared with your ex. Sitting down alone and thinking about your past won’t do you any good, but can cause more harm. Go out and make the most of your time. You deserve the best!
- No one is perfect in this world. Take all the lessons you have learned from this relationship in good faith, improve on your past mistakes and everything is going to be alright again in no time.
- I’m sorry to hear about your divorce. Don’t feel hopeless just because this time things did not turn out the way you wanted them to—the universe has great plans for you.
- I just wanted you to know that there is hope despite the hard time you are going through. Cheer up and believe the best is coming.
- The fact that [he/she] walked away doesn’t mean that you are unworthy of love. You are our pride and joy, so keep your head up!
- We know it is not easy to get your ex off your mind but it's time to accept things the way they are now. Forget everything about your past and step up to a new, more fulfilling life.
- Don’t be distressed by your past. We are all here to help you out. There’s no life where there’s no light and darkness. Never give up!
- Have faith that there is no problem without a solution. The solution depends on how you perceive your problem. So wipe away your tears, smile, and stay positive!
- What you are going through now is just temporary. Everything will be alright in no time. Keep your head up!
- When going through a difficult time, letting go of the past is one of the most important things you can do to get over it.
- It’s always difficult to accept the change in our lives when it comes, but we need to learn from the things that led to the change and then move on in life.
- Being alive is a gift you should be happy about. Everything is going to be alright in the end.
- Leave the past behind and stop worrying. You are not alone—we are here to help you out. So, smile and enjoy what life has to offer.
- Don’t spend your time counting your losses, rather, spend it counting your blessings. You are worth more than you think.
- I want you to know that there is no one in the world without their own rough patches to navigate through life. Leave the past behind and move on with your life. I promise to be there for you!
- I’m sending this note to let you know how much I care about you. Your problem is our problem and I’m here to help you get over the hurt feelings and be fine again.
- Don’t see yourself as the unluckiest person in the world. Plan a new way of life for you and your children.
- This disappointment does not mean that you are finished. Have faith and look forward towards better days.
- Don’t see these rough times you are passing through like it’s the end of the world. All you need now is to keep looking ahead towards better days.
- Don’t allow your mind to be overwhelmed with the memories of the past, but keep on believing that your tomorrow can and will be better.
- Life is what you make it out to be—make the most of your time with positive activities and stop worrying about the past with your ex. I want you to know that we are here to help you.
- Never think of yourself as an inconsequential human being.
- Don’t get discouraged, but think about how to start a more enjoyable way of life.
- Dwell more on what makes you happy and move on with your life.
- Here’s sending warm thoughts to help brighten your day, strengthen your courage, and lift your spirits so that you can and will get to where you are destined to be. This is how much I love and care about you.
- Don’t allow your past circumstances to knock you down. Look towards the next phase of life with hope and excitement. Keep your head up!
- Don’t see this adversity like it’s the end of the world. Remember that in the midst of darkness there is always a small amount of light. Remain steadfast in faith and everything will get better soon.
- I’m thinking about you during this trying time. Remember your disappointment is not the end of life. So go out and explore every beautiful opportunity out there. Please cheer up!
- Don’t allow your tragedy to deter you from forging ahead. Remember you are destined for greatness.
- Just because you have separated does not mean that you will never find happiness. Forget the past, and think about a better opportunity waiting for you out there. Things will come back to normal. Keep your head up!
- Go out there, explore a better opportunity, and enjoy yourself to the fullest.
- Never think you are hopeless and unwanted in this world. We are with you.
- This year and beyond you shall be stepping into greatness and things will start to work in your favor.
- I just wanted you to know that I am aware of what you are going through at the moment. Please don’t feel like it’s the end of your life. I promise to always be there for you.
- This might not work out in your favor. But have the hope that everything is going to be alright in no time.
- I feel what you are going through at the moment. Just be thankful for the gift of life. I promise to walk beside you.
- Being separated from your long-term partner is not the end of your life. Keep your heart strong, smile, and explore every new thing life has to offer.
- We are so concerned about what you are going through. May you have the strength and courage to move on with what the future has for you!
- Don’t think you can’t live a good life again, but have faith that everything will be alright in no time. We are here for you.
- Don’t see yourself as a failure, but think and concentrate more on what you are passionate about and you shall have a reason to smile again.
Messages for a Spiritual Person
- God knows everything you are going through. My prayers for strength and endurance are with you. I love you!
- I pray God gives you the strength and courage to bounce back much better than before.
- I wanted you to know that you’re our pride and joy, and you are always in our thoughts and prayers for a brighter future.
- I’m sending prayers for healing your way.
- May God take care of you, renew your faith, and give you the strength to endure this tough time!
- I pray for God to take care of you and give you comfort and happiness so that you may live the rest of your life with sound health.
- I pray for God to continue to show you the way forward to greatness and to enjoy His blessings and grace upon your life.
- Have faith that God is fully in control of your life. You shall have a good story to tell in the end. You are loved!
- Always remember that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
- Commit your way to the Lord and all your heart's desires shall be granted to you.
- Just continue thanking God for His goodness upon your life.
- I pray for God to continue to strengthen your spirit, comfort you, and hold you firm in the right way of life.
- God makes the night to enter into the day and the day to enter into the night. He brought the living out of the dead and the dead out of the living. Just have faith that God has the knowledge of everything you are going through and He is able to do all things.
© 2018 Oyewole Folarin
dashingscorpio from Chicago on June 01, 2018:
When it's all said and done a divorce is nothing more than a public admission that mistake was made in someone's mate selection process. There are three basic reasons why couples divorce.
1. They chose the wrong mate. (They're too incompatible)
2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of another.
3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things.
In order for your (ex) to have been "the one" he/she would have had to see (you) as being "the one". At the very least a "soulmate" is someone who actually wants to be with you! (And vice versa).
"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."
- Oscar Wilde
In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: NEXT!
Every ending is a new beginning!