Pessimistic Quotes and Sayings
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
-- Mark Twain
Quotations for the Pessimist in All of Us
If you are looking for a collection of vapid inspirational quotes that will inspire you to improve your pathetic life, you have come to the wrong place. This is a collection of brutally honest pessimistic quotes that tell you like it is: you are average at best, you will never change the world, and the worst that can happen always happens eventually.
If you are a pessimist, then these quotes are preaching to the converted. If you are one of those annoyingly cheery people who always look for the best in others and the silver lining to even the darkest situation, remember: the light you see at the end of the tunnel is the train coming at you.
Pessimistic Quotes About the Meaning of Life
Okay, so you have decided to embark on your education as a true pessimist. Here are some basic truths you must remember:
- Exercise daily. Eat wisely. Die anyway. -- unknown
- If it tastes good, it's trying to kill you. -- Roy Qualley
- Avoid fruit and nuts, you are what you eat. -- Garfield (Jim Davies)
- When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults. -- Brian Aldiss
- The longer you stay in one place, the greater the chance of disillusionment. -- Art Spander
- The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible world, and the pessimist fears that this is true. -- James Branch Cabell
- I don't know, I don't care, and it doesn't make any difference. -- Jack Kerouac
Studies in Pessimisim
Pessimistic Quotes About Marriage and Relationships
What? Despite my words of wisdom you still believe in love and such other stupid notions. Perhaps you have a significant other, and you think that you have found your soul mate. As if. The majority of marriages end in divorce and each one of these failed relationships started out fresh and happy as yours - they never last. You may as well give up now and avoid regret. Anyone who seriously tells you that it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all is probably a divorce attorney.
So forget all of those sickly sweet love quotes you'll find on other sites. Here are some choice quotes to help you purge yourself of any romantic illusions:
- What do I know about sex, I'm a married man. -- Tom Clancy
- I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night that the clocks are set ahead. -- Gary Shandling
- Men and women, women and men. It will never work. -- Erica Jong
- She was so ugly that she could make a mule back away from an oat bin. -- Will Rogers (Editor's note: the hag in question probably started out pretty but once you got hitched, she let herself go. This is always the case, usually by your second anniversary.)
- In marriage a man becomes slack and selfish and undergoes a fatty degeneration of the soul. -- Robert Louis Stevenson
- My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -- Rodney Dangerfield.
Old Age and Death Are What Await Us All
Are You A Pessimist?
Are you a rational person who realizes that everything does always turn out for the worst, or one of those stupid optimists who think that we live in the best of all possible worlds? Here is a quiz to help you find out.
Pessimistic Quotes About Money and Careers
Are you a hard worker? Do you say - if I work hard, put in the time, and show my bosses what great work I do I am sure to be promoted. Talent, dedication will always be unrewarded. You will be passed over for promotion and see the office bimbo sleep her way to a promotion or the sycophantic brown nosing coworker who just started, will take credit for your work and get the accolades while you get a pink slip.
Here are some quotes to help you get your career goals into perspective:
- Confidence is always over confidence. -- Robert Byrne. In other words, you're not good enough.
- The closest anyone comes to perfection is on a job application form. -- Unknown
- A career is a job that has gone on too long. -- Jeff MacNelly
- Tell your boss what you think of him and the truth shall set you free. -- Anonymous
- To make a small fortune, invest a large fortune. -- Bruce Cohn
- A lot of people become pessimists from financing optimists. — C.T. Jones
Final Words of Wisdom
I hope that these quotes have disabused you of the mind pablum that motivational quotes dish out; but I am not optimistic. So now go forth into this cruel world and remember:
Dawn! A brand new day! This Could be the start of something average. -- Ziggy (Tom Wilson)