20 Funny, Corny, and Cheesy Christmas Jokes

Updated on October 19, 2019
jimmythejock profile image

Jimmy has a dry wit and enjoys giggling at corny Christmas cracker jokes with family during the holidays.

These Christmas jokes are cringey, corny, cheesy, and maybe . . . just maybe . . . a little bit funny.
These Christmas jokes are cringey, corny, cheesy, and maybe . . . just maybe . . . a little bit funny. | Source

Cheesy Humor Is a Christmas Tradition

Every year, my family and I sit around the table to eat Christmas dinner. We have our turkey with all the trimmings followed by Christmas pudding and maybe even a few glasses of eggnog.

Then we join together to open our Christmas crackers with their paper crowns and their little treats. Of course, no Christmas cracker would be complete without a cheesy, corny holiday joke inside.

Christmas jokes are sometimes so cheesy that instead of making you laugh, they make you groan and wonder who could have thought they were funny in the first place. I hope that you will find at least one joke in this list that will tickle your tastebuds and bring a smile to your face.

Christmas crackers are a lot of fun, but most of the time the jokes inside them are awful.
Christmas crackers are a lot of fun, but most of the time the jokes inside them are awful. | Source

10 Christmas Cracker Jokes

Christmas cracker jokes are notoriously bad. They are cheesy, corny and never very funny, but that is part of the fun of reading them.

  1. Why did the snowman retire from sport? Snow competition!
  2. What do you call a baby snowman? A snowball!
  3. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker!
  4. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Crisp Kringle!
  5. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas Eve!
  6. Why are turkeys wiser than chickens? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
  7. Who gives presents and bites people? Santa Jaws!
  8. What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn't move? Santa Pause!
  9. What's a child's favourite king at Christmas? A stocking!
  10. What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas? He got 12 months!

Feel free to stop groaning now, because that is the last of the Christmas cracker jokes.

Not surprisingly, Santa Claus is the butt of most Christmas Jokes.
Not surprisingly, Santa Claus is the butt of most Christmas Jokes. | Source

10 Funny Christmas Jokes for Children

Christmas is an important time to spend with family, especially if you have children. Why not keep them amused with some Christmas jokes that are just good, clean fun?

  1. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitus!
  2. Why Doesn't Santa Claus think of the past or the future? Because he likes to live in the present!
  3. Why does Santa Claus live at the North Pole? Because that is where his house is!
  4. What is Santa's favorite sport? The North Pole vault!
  5. Where did Santa first meet and dance with his wife? At the annual snowball!
  6. Who is Santa's favorite pop group? Sister Sledge!
  7. Why does Santa take presents to children around the world? Because the presents won't take themselves!
  8. What's red and green and flies? An airsick Santa Claus!
  9. How do you know when Santa Claus is ill? The doctors send out an elf warning!
  10. What goes ho, ho, ho, bonk? Santa Claus laughing his head off!

Always ensure that your baubles are properly secured—you don't want them to fall off the tree and get lost under the table.
Always ensure that your baubles are properly secured—you don't want them to fall off the tree and get lost under the table. | Source


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    • peachpurple profile image


      5 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      santa pause! I was laughing my heads off

    • Pawpawwrites profile image


      5 years ago from Kansas

      I guess Christmas is just like a day at the office. Nice ones.

    • Brite-Ideas profile image

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 

      5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      LOL! These are the kind of Christmas Crackers I need to get for our table! I'm going to do it this year (didn't realize they existed until this post!) BTW number 4 in the first set 'Crisp Kringle' ..I laughed a little too much!

    • ketage profile image


      7 years ago from Croatia

      LOL , Just what I needed to start my day :) voted up funny

    • expertscolumn profile image

      Stanley Soman 

      7 years ago from New York

      how do you guys even come up with these jokes, or is everyone in your family naturally funny?

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 

      7 years ago from North Central Florida

      good morning and Merry Christmas...while it is still early and quiet I am reading Christmas entries here on hubpages. I always love a smile...this is a collection I must add to my jokes file...love these. Thanks for sharing...and

      Sending Christmas Angels to you and yours. :) ps

    • Kristine Manley profile image

      Donna Kristine 

      7 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      I was laughing all the way. Voted up!

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 

      7 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Funny and something for everyone! Thanks for sharing!

    • Man from Modesto profile image

      Man from Modesto 

      7 years ago from Kiev, Ukraine (formerly Modesto, California)

      Yes, "Santa" is an anagram for Satan.

      Jesus was born during the time of the annual census. This happened immediately after the harvest. This would be late September or early October.

    • CZCZCZ profile image


      7 years ago from Oregon

      Going to use some of these just for fun. Thanks for sharing them and happy holidays!

    • Pinkchic18 profile image

      Sarah Carlsley 

      7 years ago from Minnesota

      Too funny! I'm going to use a couple of these ;)

    • shampa sadhya profile image

      Shampa Sadhya 

      7 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Voted up and funny!

      It's interestingly funny. Loved the article.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      7 years ago from Dubai

      Enjoyed reading, totally entertained.

    • rutley profile image


      7 years ago from South Jersey

      Dry as provolone cheese but cute......thanks for the chuckle!

    • chrissieklinger profile image


      7 years ago from Pennsylvania

      I have never heard of a Christmas cracker, and I now look forward to sharing some of these cheesy jokes with my children....very funny!

    • cat on a soapbox profile image

      Catherine Tally 

      7 years ago from Los Angeles

      Cheeseball or not, the jokes were entertaining and made me smile. Thanks!

      Happy Holidays to you :)

    • mpropp profile image

      Melissa Propp 

      7 years ago from Minnesota

      Very funny, I especially liked the adult jokes. You gave me several chuckles. Thanks!

    • James Peters profile image

      James Timothy Peters 

      7 years ago from Hammond, Indiana

      These are perfect. Some I could tell to my neices and nephews, and a few to my cousins.


      Thumbs Up & More!!

      Write On!!

    • Sherry Hewins profile image

      Sherry Hewins 

      7 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

      Corny And Cheesy alright, but it did make me smile.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 

      7 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thank you for the festive humor Jimmy!! I just might be reading your jokes to the family on Christmas Day:)

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 

      7 years ago from Florida

      I had been reading some very serious Hubs today, and I'll tell you: this was just what I needed! I loved your jokes , especially the closing poem! That was great.

      I bookmarked this Hub and will print so I can read your jokes around our table at Christmas.

      Voted it UP, etc.


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