20 Funny, Corny, and Cheesy Christmas Jokes

Updated on October 19, 2019
jimmythejock profile image

Jimmy has a dry wit and enjoys giggling at corny Christmas cracker jokes with family during the holidays.

These Christmas jokes are cringey, corny, cheesy, and maybe . . . just maybe . . . a little bit funny.
These Christmas jokes are cringey, corny, cheesy, and maybe . . . just maybe . . . a little bit funny. | Source

Cheesy Humor Is a Christmas Tradition

Every year, my family and I sit around the table to eat Christmas dinner. We have our turkey with all the trimmings followed by Christmas pudding and maybe even a few glasses of eggnog.

Then we join together to open our Christmas crackers with their paper crowns and their little treats. Of course, no Christmas cracker would be complete without a cheesy, corny holiday joke inside.

Christmas jokes are sometimes so cheesy that instead of making you laugh, they make you groan and wonder who could have thought they were funny in the first place. I hope that you will find at least one joke in this list that will tickle your tastebuds and bring a smile to your face.

Christmas crackers are a lot of fun, but most of the time the jokes inside them are awful.
Christmas crackers are a lot of fun, but most of the time the jokes inside them are awful. | Source

10 Christmas Cracker Jokes

Christmas cracker jokes are notoriously bad. They are cheesy, corny and never very funny, but that is part of the fun of reading them.

  1. Why did the snowman retire from sport? Snow competition!
  2. What do you call a baby snowman? A snowball!
  3. What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker!
  4. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Crisp Kringle!
  5. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas Eve!
  6. Why are turkeys wiser than chickens? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
  7. Who gives presents and bites people? Santa Jaws!
  8. What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn't move? Santa Pause!
  9. What's a child's favourite king at Christmas? A stocking!
  10. What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas? He got 12 months!

Feel free to stop groaning now, because that is the last of the Christmas cracker jokes.

Not surprisingly, Santa Claus is the butt of most Christmas Jokes.
Not surprisingly, Santa Claus is the butt of most Christmas Jokes. | Source

10 Funny Christmas Jokes for Children

Christmas is an important time to spend with family, especially if you have children. Why not keep them amused with some Christmas jokes that are just good, clean fun?

  1. What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitus!
  2. Why Doesn't Santa Claus think of the past or the future? Because he likes to live in the present!
  3. Why does Santa Claus live at the North Pole? Because that is where his house is!
  4. What is Santa's favorite sport? The North Pole vault!
  5. Where did Santa first meet and dance with his wife? At the annual snowball!
  6. Who is Santa's favorite pop group? Sister Sledge!
  7. Why does Santa take presents to children around the world? Because the presents won't take themselves!
  8. What's red and green and flies? An airsick Santa Claus!
  9. How do you know when Santa Claus is ill? The doctors send out an elf warning!
  10. What goes ho, ho, ho, bonk? Santa Claus laughing his head off!

Always ensure that your baubles are properly secured—you don't want them to fall off the tree and get lost under the table.
Always ensure that your baubles are properly secured—you don't want them to fall off the tree and get lost under the table. | Source

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 

      4 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      santa pause! I was laughing my heads off

    • Pawpawwrites profile image

      Jim 

      5 years ago from Kansas

      I guess Christmas is just like a day at the office. Nice ones.

    • Brite-Ideas profile image

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 

      5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      LOL! These are the kind of Christmas Crackers I need to get for our table! I'm going to do it this year (didn't realize they existed until this post!) BTW number 4 in the first set 'Crisp Kringle' ..I laughed a little too much!

    • ketage profile image

      ketage 

      6 years ago from Croatia

      LOL , Just what I needed to start my day :) voted up funny

    • expertscolumn profile image

      Stanley Soman 

      6 years ago from New York

      how do you guys even come up with these jokes, or is everyone in your family naturally funny?

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 

      6 years ago from North Central Florida

      good morning and Merry Christmas...while it is still early and quiet I am reading Christmas entries here on hubpages. I always love a smile...this is a collection I must add to my jokes file...love these. Thanks for sharing...and

      Sending Christmas Angels to you and yours. :) ps

    • Kristine Manley profile image

      Donna Kristine 

      6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

      I was laughing all the way. Voted up!

    • justateacher profile image

      LaDena Campbell 

      6 years ago from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz...

      Funny and something for everyone! Thanks for sharing!

    • Man from Modesto profile image

      Man from Modesto 

      6 years ago from Kiev, Ukraine (formerly Modesto, California)

      Yes, "Santa" is an anagram for Satan.

      Jesus was born during the time of the annual census. This happened immediately after the harvest. This would be late September or early October.

    • CZCZCZ profile image

      CZCZCZ 

      6 years ago from Oregon

      Going to use some of these just for fun. Thanks for sharing them and happy holidays!

    • Pinkchic18 profile image

      Sarah Carlsley 

      6 years ago from Minnesota

      Too funny! I'm going to use a couple of these ;)

    • shampa sadhya profile image

      Shampa Sadhya 

      7 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

      Voted up and funny!

      It's interestingly funny. Loved the article.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 

      7 years ago from Dubai

      Enjoyed reading, totally entertained.

    • rutley profile image

      rutley 

      7 years ago from South Jersey

      Dry as provolone cheese but cute......thanks for the chuckle!

    • chrissieklinger profile image

      chrissieklinger 

      7 years ago from Pennsylvania

      I have never heard of a Christmas cracker, and I now look forward to sharing some of these cheesy jokes with my children....very funny!

    • cat on a soapbox profile image

      Catherine Tally 

      7 years ago from Los Angeles

      Cheeseball or not, the jokes were entertaining and made me smile. Thanks!

      Happy Holidays to you :)

    • mpropp profile image

      Melissa Propp 

      7 years ago from Minnesota

      Very funny, I especially liked the adult jokes. You gave me several chuckles. Thanks!

    • James Peters profile image

      James Timothy Peters 

      7 years ago from Hammond, Indiana

      These are perfect. Some I could tell to my neices and nephews, and a few to my cousins.

      AWESOME HUB!

      Thumbs Up & More!!

      Write On!!

    • Sherry Hewins profile image

      Sherry Hewins 

      7 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

      Corny And Cheesy alright, but it did make me smile.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 

      7 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Thank you for the festive humor Jimmy!! I just might be reading your jokes to the family on Christmas Day:)

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 

      7 years ago from Florida

      I had been reading some very serious Hubs today, and I'll tell you: this was just what I needed! I loved your jokes , especially the closing poem! That was great.

      I bookmarked this Hub and will print so I can read your jokes around our table at Christmas.

      Voted it UP, etc.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, holidappy.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://holidappy.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)