20 Funny, Corny, and Cheesy Christmas Jokes
These Christmas jokes are cringey, corny, cheesy, and maybe . . . just maybe . . . a little bit funny.
Cheesy Humor Is a Christmas Tradition
Every year, my family and I sit around the table to eat Christmas dinner. We have our turkey with all the trimmings followed by Christmas pudding and maybe even a few glasses of eggnog.
Then we join together to open our Christmas crackers with their paper crowns and their little treats. Of course, no Christmas cracker would be complete without a cheesy, corny holiday joke inside.
Christmas jokes are sometimes so cheesy that instead of making you laugh, they make you groan and wonder who could have thought they were funny in the first place. I hope that you will find at least one joke in this list that will tickle your tastebuds and bring a smile to your face.
Christmas crackers are a lot of fun, but most of the time the jokes inside them are awful.
10 Christmas Cracker Jokes
Christmas cracker jokes are notoriously bad. They are cheesy, corny and never very funny, but that is part of the fun of reading them.
- Why did the snowman retire from sport? Snow competition!
- What do you call a baby snowman? A snowball!
- What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker!
- What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Crisp Kringle!
- What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas Eve!
- Why are turkeys wiser than chickens? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
- Who gives presents and bites people? Santa Jaws!
- What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn't move? Santa Pause!
- What's a child's favourite king at Christmas? A stocking!
- What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas? He got 12 months!
Feel free to stop groaning now, because that is the last of the Christmas cracker jokes.
Not surprisingly, Santa Claus is the butt of most Christmas Jokes.
10 Funny Christmas Jokes for Children
Christmas is an important time to spend with family, especially if you have children. Why not keep them amused with some Christmas jokes that are just good, clean fun?
- What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitus!
- Why doesn't Santa Claus think of the past or the future? Because he likes to live in the present!
- Why does Santa Claus live at the North Pole? Because that is where his house is!
- What is Santa's favorite sport? The North Pole vault!
- Where did Santa first meet and dance with his wife? At the annual snowball!
- Who is Santa's favorite pop group? Sister Sledge!
- Why does Santa take presents to children around the world? Because the presents won't take themselves!
- What's red and green and flies? An airsick Santa Claus!
- How do you know when Santa Claus is ill? The doctors send out an elf warning!
- What goes ho, ho, ho, bonk? Santa Claus laughing his head off!
Always ensure that your baubles are properly secured—you don't want them to fall off the tree and get lost under the table.
Comments
peachy from Home Sweet Home on December 20, 2014:
santa pause! I was laughing my heads off
Jim from Kansas on September 02, 2014:
I guess Christmas is just like a day at the office. Nice ones.
Barbara Tremblay Cipak from Toronto, Canada on September 02, 2014:
LOL! These are the kind of Christmas Crackers I need to get for our table! I'm going to do it this year (didn't realize they existed until this post!) BTW number 4 in the first set 'Crisp Kringle' ..I laughed a little too much!
ketage from Croatia on March 26, 2013:
LOL , Just what I needed to start my day :) voted up funny
Stanley Soman from New York on December 29, 2012:
how do you guys even come up with these jokes, or is everyone in your family naturally funny?
Patricia Scott from North Central Florida on December 25, 2012:
good morning and Merry Christmas...while it is still early and quiet I am reading Christmas entries here on hubpages. I always love a smile...this is a collection I must add to my jokes file...love these. Thanks for sharing...and
Sending Christmas Angels to you and yours. :) ps
Kristine Manley from Atlanta, GA on December 24, 2012:
I was laughing all the way. Voted up!
LaDena Campbell from Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Near Oz... on December 24, 2012:
Funny and something for everyone! Thanks for sharing!
Man from Modesto from Kiev, Ukraine (formerly Modesto, California) on December 24, 2012:
Yes, "Santa" is an anagram for Satan.
Jesus was born during the time of the annual census. This happened immediately after the harvest. This would be late September or early October.
CZCZCZ from Oregon on December 24, 2012:
Going to use some of these just for fun. Thanks for sharing them and happy holidays!
Sarah Carlsley from Minnesota on December 20, 2012:
Too funny! I'm going to use a couple of these ;)
Shampa Sadhya from NEW DELHI, INDIA on December 05, 2012:
Voted up and funny!
It's interestingly funny. Loved the article.
Nithya Venkat from Dubai on December 04, 2012:
Enjoyed reading, totally entertained.
rutley from South Jersey on November 30, 2012:
Dry as provolone cheese but cute......thanks for the chuckle!
chrissieklinger from Pennsylvania on November 27, 2012:
I have never heard of a Christmas cracker, and I now look forward to sharing some of these cheesy jokes with my children....very funny!
Catherine Tally from Los Angeles on November 26, 2012:
Cheeseball or not, the jokes were entertaining and made me smile. Thanks!
Happy Holidays to you :)
Melissa Propp from Minnesota on November 25, 2012:
Very funny, I especially liked the adult jokes. You gave me several chuckles. Thanks!
James Timothy Peters from Hammond, Indiana on November 25, 2012:
These are perfect. Some I could tell to my neices and nephews, and a few to my cousins.
AWESOME HUB!
Thumbs Up & More!!
Write On!!
Sherry Hewins from Sierra Foothills, CA on November 25, 2012:
Corny And Cheesy alright, but it did make me smile.
Linda Bilyeu from Orlando, FL on November 25, 2012:
Thank you for the festive humor Jimmy!! I just might be reading your jokes to the family on Christmas Day:)
Mary Hyatt from Florida on November 25, 2012:
I had been reading some very serious Hubs today, and I'll tell you: this was just what I needed! I loved your jokes , especially the closing poem! That was great.
I bookmarked this Hub and will print so I can read your jokes around our table at Christmas.
Voted it UP, etc.