Lela Davidson is a mother and writer who is passionate about healthcare and education for women and children.
Funny St. Patrick's Day Sayings
What better way to get in the spirit than with a good joke? Here are St. Patrick's Day jokes for kids collected from around the web. These are all G-rated and in reasonably good taste.
Remember that jokes are more than just fun. Telling jokes develops language, and though it may make you groan, the pun is the highest form of language development. Besides, it's fun. You can't raise children without a serious side of humor!
So go ahead—act like the dork you are and help your children learn at the same time with these cute St. Patrick's Day jokes for kids.
- Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland? He couldn't afford plane fare.
- Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland? Because it was too far for them to crawl.
- Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy.
Warren anything green today?
- How did the Irish Jig get started? Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!
- What do you call a clumsy Irish dance? A jig mistake!
- How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time? He's Dublin over with laughter!
- What does Ireland have more of than any other country? Irishmen!
- What's Irish and stays out all night? Patty O'furniture!
- What did one Irish ghost say to the other? 'Top o' the moaning!
- What's big and purple and lies next to Ireland? Grape Britain!
Cook 1: What do you think of my Irish stew?
Cook 2: It could use a pinch of Gaelic.
Luck and Leprechauns
- What do you get if you cross poison ivy with a four-leaf clover? A rash of good luck!
- Why do leprechauns have pots o'gold? They like to "go" first class!
- What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a Texan? A pot of chili at the end of the rainbow!
- What would you get if you crossed a leprechaun with a frog? A little green man with a croak of gold!
- Did you hear about the leprechaun who went to jail? He was a lepre-con!
- Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because they're always a little short.
- Did you hear about the leprechaun who worked at the diner? He was a short-order cook!
- Do leprechauns get angry when you make fun of their height? Yeah, but only a little!
- Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato? To keep from falling in the stew!
- Do leprechauns make good secretaries? Sure, they're great at shorthand!
- How did the leprechaun beat the Irishman to the pot of gold? He took a shortcut!
- What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
Read More From Holidappy
Irish you a happy St. Patrick's Day!
- Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with? Because they're very short-tempered!
- What baseball position do leprechauns usually play? Shortstop!
- What do you get when two leprechauns have a conversation? A lot of small talk!
- What did the leprechaun say to the elf? How's the weather up there?
- Why did the man cross the road? Because there was a leprechaun on the other side with a pot of gold.
- What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green? A Jolly Green Giant
- Why do frogs like St. Patrick's Day? Because they're always wearing green.
- What do you get when you cross a pillowcase with a stone? A sham rock.
Do you have a favorite joke? Share below!
thedutchman on March 22, 2011:
Thanks for sharing your riddles and jokes. I love it!^^keep it up
Samantha Gomez on March 17, 2011:
I think this jokes and riddle are really funny!!!!! you should put more so everyone would want to see them!!!!!!!
Jaimee on March 14, 2011:
shannon on March 11, 2011:
Pete Maher on March 11, 2011:
This was McHilarious! It was funnier for my son, but the hub does mention the wee laddies and lassies. That's no Blarney.
MRS. STUPID JOKES on March 08, 2011:
andre on February 24, 2011:
Andre on November 30, 2010:
why do leprechauns laugh when they run because their balls itch
Suzanne on February 23, 2010:
I loved the jokes! I'm Irish and I enjoyed these a lot! Thanks!
Valerie on February 22, 2010:
Thanks this was perfect, we'll use your jokes for our afterschool program kids, and for our St. Patrick's day luncheon for our seniors. They'll all get a kick out them.
Madison on March 17, 2009:
Rob Jundt from Midwest USA on March 15, 2008:
Patty O' Furniture. That's a good one!
WeddingConsultant from DC Metro Area on March 14, 2008:
Nice! I'm not Irish, but I love the music. Does that count for something?
Bonnie Ramsey from United States on March 12, 2008:
These are adorable! My hubby is Irish so I can't wait to tease him with a few of these! Thanks for sharing!
VioletSun from Oregon/ Name: Marie on March 12, 2008:
This is funny. Enjoyed the froggie joke the most. :)
Frank from Montana on March 10, 2008:
Why do frog's wear green?to keep from getting pinched.
Karen and Lesley from United Kingdom on March 07, 2008:
Really enjoyed the hub. Good laugh I'll try some of these out on people
maham on February 15, 2008: