Valentine's Day Jokes and Funny Poems

Updated on February 24, 2018

Love and Romance on Valentine's Day

Being in love is a fantastic feeling, especially if you know that the person that you love is also in love with you.

Valentine's Day is a day of love and romance and is all about showing that special person in your life just how much you care about them.

Hearts and flowers, cards and chocolates, jewelry, or a nice cuddly toy are all ideal gifts for Valentine's Day and are always appreciated by the recipient.

The trouble is that Valentine's Day can become too intense and too serious if you are both focusing so much on trying to please each other that you forget to have some fun.

Why not lighten the mood and the atmosphere with some Valentine's Day jokes and some funny Valentine's Day poems, and have a giggle together—after all, laughter is a powerful aphrodisiac.

Valentine's Day Love

You have my heart in the palm of your hands, please don't break it.
You have my heart in the palm of your hands, please don't break it. | Source

Knock Knock Jokes for Valentine's Day

Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Master, who?

Master hurt when you fell from heaven.


Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Bee, who?

Bee my Valentine.


Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Frank, who?

Frank you for being my friend.


Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Pooch, who?

Pooch your arms around me, baby!


Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Myla, who?

Mylave is like a red, red rose!


Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Me, who?

Me love you long time, baby.

Short Valentine's Day Jokes

“She tore my Valentine in half!” said Tom half-heartedly.

Two antennae met on a roof, fell in love and got married. Their wedding ceremony wasn’t fancy. The reception, however, was excellent.

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

I'm stuck on you.

Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?

No, but they had an apple.

What did the French chef give his wife for Valentine's Day?

A hug and a quiche!

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hogs and kisses!

More Valentine's Day Jokes

A woman was taking a nap on Valentine’s Day afternoon. After she awoke, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a gorgeous and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight,” he said.

That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled “The Meaning of Dreams.”


A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?"

Several men stood up as the lights came on.

An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice, Jewish girl?"

Give your sweetheart something different from the rest with an original "Roses Are Red" poem.
Give your sweetheart something different from the rest with an original "Roses Are Red" poem. | Source

"Roses Are Red" Poems For Valentine's Day

Almost every one uses the old classic "Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you," poem on Valentine's cards that they send, but why not try something more original and give your sweetheart something a little different from the rest.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

My heart pumps faster

When I am with you


Roses are Red

With leaves of Green

Oops! Wrong holiday

It's not Halloween


Roses are red

With leaves of green

You make me feel like a King

Please be my Queen


Roses are red

Violets are blue

The simple fact is

I really love you


Roses are red

Snowdrops are white

My heart will melt

In your arms tonight


Roses are red

Daffodils are yellow

Like marijuana

You make me feel mellow


Roses are red

Carnations are white

Fancy a date

This Friday night?


Roses are red

Violets are blue

My heart is dancing

From being with you

Questions & Answers


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      • Nyamache profile image

        Joshua Nyamache 

        5 years ago from Kenya

        It is funny, you have made my day.

      • Vellur profile image

        Nithya Venkat 

        5 years ago from Dubai

        Totally enjoyed reading, awesome hub. Voted up. Great hub.

      • Nell Rose profile image

        Nell Rose 

        5 years ago from England

        Really cute, and so funny! lol!

      • Sunshine625 profile image

        Linda Bilyeu 

        5 years ago from Orlando, FL

        You make me mellow!! Funny, witty and clever poems!! Happy Valentine's Day Jimmy!

      • DON BALDERAS profile image


        5 years ago

        Happy Valentines Day, Jim. This is great.

      • Rkwebs profile image

        Rajnesh kumar 

        5 years ago from India

        sweet cute nice and funny lol :D

      • Kasman profile image


        5 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

        Alright jimmy, I admit I think I'll have to use a few of these....especially the pooch one. My wife will laugh hard at me but I will have to do it. Thanks for this and voting up brother!

      • rfmoran profile image

        Russ Moran - The Write Stuff 

        5 years ago from Long Island, New York

        Love this hub Jimmy. You've made my life easier for expressing my love to my honey (of 44 years)

      • bravewarrior profile image

        Shauna L Bowling 

        5 years ago from Central Florida

        What awesome poems and humor! I don't have a valentine, so I feel especially treated for this lovers' holiday. Thank you give making my heart smile!

      • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

        Susan Hazelton 

        5 years ago from Sunny Florida

        HaHaHa :) Love it. I especially lke the "Meaning of dreams joke:. Up and funny.

      • wayne barrett profile image

        Wayne Barrett 

        5 years ago from Clearwater Florida

        I like the compilation of poetry and jokes

        Me love you long time. LOL. Sorry I've spent time overseas, so that one caught me off a good way. Very funny.


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