Funny and Silly Thanksgiving Jokes and Quotes to Share
Jokes and Quotes
Here are some funny Thanksgiving jokes I came across and wanted to share. I hope you enjoy a good laugh or groan from some funny and silly jokes. These can be fun way to break the ice or smooth rattled nerves. Happy Thanksgiving!
- Question: What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving? Answer: He gave tanks.
- Question: Why did they let the turkey join the band? Answer: Because he had the drumsticks, of course!
- Question: What do hippies put on their Thanksgiving potatoes? Answer: Groovy
- Question: What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? Answer: A poultrygeist!
- Question: If April showers, bring May Flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Answer: Pilgrims, of course!
- Question: What did the Mother turkey say to her naughty son? Answer: If your Daddy could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
- Question: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? Answer: The outside!
- Question : In which country is Thanksgiving Day NOT celebrated? Answer: Turkey!
- Question: What do policemen eat at Thanksgiving? Answer: Corn on the cop.
- Once upon a time, there was a poultry farmer that was experimenting with ways to breed turkeys that had more legs, in hopes of getting larger profits. He finally succeeded. As he shared the story with his friends, they naturally asked, "So, how does this turkey taste?" With a long face, the farmer said, "Do you think it is so easy to catch such a turkey?"
- Question: Why did the turkey get arrested? Answer: They suspected him of fowl play!
- Question: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving? Answer: He was very "thinkful."
- Question: Why did the Pilgrim's pants keep falling down? Answer: Because he wore his buckle on his hat!
- Question: How do turkeys drink their wine? Answer: In gobble-lets.
- Question: What is a good reason to save some turkey for tomorrow? Answer: So it doesn't go to waist.
Did you know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, "Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave." Quote by Dylan Brody (I thought this was hilarious!).
Along those same lines: "Thanksgiving, when the [Native Americans] said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England.” Quote by Jay Leno.
"This Thanksgiving is gonna be a special one. My mom says I don't have to sit at the card table." Quote by Jim Samuels (Aww, does anyone else recall sitting at the kids table, something like a card table? I do! Its still a happy memory, those were fun times.)
I thought this was cute:
"Nathan, a young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Native Americans and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father's lap and said, 'Daddy, did you know that if we were Native Americans, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?'
'That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard, Nathan', replied his daddy as he ducked."
To end with: "The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself." Quote by Benjamin Franklin
Ok, so I know some (or most of) these are "groaners," but did it at least make you smile? I hope so! Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
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