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Funny Thanksgiving Jokes and Quotes to Share

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Paula has been an online writer for over 10 years. Her work focuses on a wide variety of topics.

An old Thanksgiving cartoon from the public domain.

An old Thanksgiving cartoon from the public domain.

Stupid Thanksgiving Jokes (But Funny!)

Here are some funny Thanksgiving jokes I came across and wanted to share. I hope you enjoy a good laugh or groan from some funny and silly jokes. These can be a fun way to break the ice or smooth rattled nerves. Happy Thanksgiving!

Silly Thanksgiving Jokes

  • Question: What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?
    Answer: He gave tanks.
  • Question: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
    Answer: Because he had the drumsticks, of course!
  • Question: What do hippies put on their Thanksgiving potatoes?
    Answer: Groovy
  • Question: What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?
    Answer: A poultrygeist!
  • Question: If April showers, bring May Flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Answer: Pilgrims, of course!
  • Question: What did the Mother turkey say to her naughty son?
    Answer: If your Daddy could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!
  • Question: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
    Answer: The outside!
  • Question: In which country is Thanksgiving Day NOT celebrated?
    Answer: Turkey!
  • Question: What do policemen eat at Thanksgiving?
    Answer: Corn on the cop.
  • Once upon a time, there was a poultry farmer that was experimenting with ways to breed turkeys that had more legs in hopes of getting larger profits. He finally succeeded. As he shared the story with his friends, they naturally asked, "So, how does this turkey taste?" With a long face, the farmer said, "Do you think it is so easy to catch such a turkey?"
  • Question: Why did the turkey get arrested?
    Answer: They suspected him of fowl play!
  • Question: How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?
    Answer: He was very "thinkful."
  • Question: Why did the Pilgrim's pants keep falling down?
    Answer: Because he wore his buckle on his hat!
  • Question: How do turkeys drink their wine?
    Answer: In gobble-lets.
  • Question: What is a good reason to save some turkey for tomorrow?
    Answer: So it doesn't go to waist.

Thanksgiving Quotes

  • Did you know that just before that first Thanksgiving dinner there was one wise, old Native American woman saying, "Don't feed them. If you feed them, they'll never leave."—Quote by Dylan Brody (I thought this was hilarious!).
  • Along those same lines: "Thanksgiving, when the [Native Americans] said, "Well, this has been fun, but we know you have a long voyage back to England.”—Quote by Jay Leno.
  • "This Thanksgiving is gonna be a special one. My mom says I don't have to sit at the card table." Quote by Jim Samuels (Aww, does anyone else recall sitting at the kids' table, something like a card table? I do! It's still a happy memory, those were fun times.)
  • I thought this was cute: "Nathan, a young boy, after hearing the story of Thanksgiving and how the Native Americans and the Pilgrims sat down together, climbed up into his father's lap and said, 'Daddy, did you know that if we were Native Americans, you would be a brave and Mom would be a squawk?' 'That is the best description of your mother I have ever heard, Nathan,' replied his daddy as he ducked."
  • To end with: "The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself."—Quote by Benjamin Franklin

Ok, so I know some (or most of) these are "groaners," but did they at least make you smile? I hope so! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!


Paula (author) from The Midwest, USA on November 25, 2016:

I am so glad to hear that, Johan!

johan smulders on November 24, 2016:

Enjoyed them very much!

Paula (author) from The Midwest, USA on December 31, 2012:

Haha, Tiffany! So glad you found this, and hope they might have been useful for you! For the record, even those "groaners" as some put them, are hilarious at times. They are to me anyway. They make people smile at the very least, and isn't that what we need sometimes during the holidays? Thanks for stopping by.

Tiffany Delite from Wichita, KS on October 31, 2012:

ha! what a fun hub! thank you so much. thanksgiving is my most favorite holiday. my kids are always groaning at my jokes anyway so now i have a whole list of "holiday appropriate" jokes to make them groan! lol. blessings!

Paula (author) from The Midwest, USA on December 02, 2011:

Adrienne, thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. :) Happy to share a laugh and see others as well, like glassvisage. Fun!

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Read More From Holidappy

Fierce Manson from Atlanta on November 26, 2011:

@glassvisage That's a good one!

Thanks for sharing a good laugh with us all oceansnsunsets.

Paula (author) from The Midwest, USA on November 26, 2011:

Haha, love that! :) Thanks for the visit, Glassvisage, its much appreciated.

glassvisage from Northern California on November 26, 2011:

Q: What is the best Thanksgiving music?

A: Plymouth Rock :)

Paula (author) from The Midwest, USA on November 24, 2011:

Chaplin Speaks, So glad to hear that! :D Happy Thanksgiving!

Mary, Happy to hear that, and yes I did have a great day. I hope you did too. Thanks for stopping by :)

Mary Hyatt from Florida on November 24, 2011:

What a nice way to end my day! Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. I am stuffed!

Sarah Johnson from Charleston, South Carolina on November 24, 2011:

Yes! This made me smile. Thanks!

Paula (author) from The Midwest, USA on November 24, 2011:

Hi Rochelj, thank you very much! So glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the tweet too! :) Happy Thanksgiving to you. :)

rochelj from USA on November 24, 2011:

I enjoyed, shared and tweeted this one! Have a good one!

Paula (author) from The Midwest, USA on November 23, 2011:

Happy Thanksgiving, Tirlesstraveler!

Judy Specht from California on November 23, 2011:

Always looking for jokes :) Happy Thanksgiving

Paula (author) from The Midwest, USA on November 23, 2011:

Mljdgulley, thank you! Happy Thanksgiving to you too. :)

mljdgulley354 on November 23, 2011:

Happy Thanksgiving oceansnsunset. Great hub. I really like the brave and squawk

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