Joe loves celebrating Halloween the way it was meant to be celebrated: with ghoulishly clever tombstones.
DIY Halloween Graveyard
One of my favorite things to do for Halloween is to decorate my yard with scary spiders, cobwebs, jack-o'-lanterns, and of course, tombstones.
My tombstones may be made of foam, but once they're done I think they look pretty spooky. The really fun part is choosing what the headstones should say—and in this article, I'll share some of the best funny names and sayings I've found. I'll also go over some carving techniques and tips.
Funny Tombstone Names
Barry D. Live
die and rot
U. R. Knexst
you are next
Will B. Back
will be back
I am rising
I been killed
More Funny Tombstone Names
Al B. Back
Frank N. Styne
Ray N. Carnation
Jess T. Bones
Alfred Ovda Dark
Funny Tombstone Quotes From Disney's Haunted Mansion
The following sayings are from the graveyard at the Haunted Mansion in Walt Disney World. I always enjoyed that ride as a kid, and it was my first exposure to humorous epitaphs.
- Rest in peace Cousin Huet / we all know you didn't do it
- Here rests Wathel R. Bender / he rode to glory on a fender
- Dear departed brother Dave / he chased a bear into a cave
- Here lies good old Fred / a great big rock fell on his head
- At peaceful rest lies Brother Claude / planted here beneath this sod
- Here lies Captain Culpepper Clyne / Allergic to dirt so he's pickled in brine. He braved the sea and all her wrath, but died on land while taking a bath.
- While Brother Roland here reposes, his soul's above, one supposes
Funny (but Real!) Tombstone Quotes
This next batch contains quotes found on real tombstones at famous gravesites all over the world.
- My other resting place is a sarcophagus
- Here lies Lester Moore
Four shots from a .44
No Less, No More
- Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake
- Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw
- Reader if cash thou art
In want of any
Dig 4 feet deep
And thou wilt find a Penny
How to Transfer the Saying to the Foam
After you decide what name and/or epitaph you want the tombstone to have, you'll need to determine how you're going to transfer it to the tombstone itself. There are a couple of basic options: either carve the foam directly or create a stencil to use for painting.
Either way, I recommend first creating a design on your computer and then printing it out on plain white paper. Your design does not need to be limited to just text—you can use clip art and other graphics, too. Just keep in mind that the more intricate your design gets, the longer it will take you to transfer it onto the foam.
After you have your design printed out on a piece of paper, choose one of the following two methods:
- Carve directly into the foam: Tape your design printout to the foam and use a sharp blade to punch through the paper into the foam (see photos below). The technique is similar to carving a pumpkin. You want to just lightly score the foam at this point so then when the paper is removed you can still see the design.
- Create a stencil and paint: Take your design printout and cut out the letters to create a stencil. Tape the stencil to the foam. No carving will be necessary. Simply apply paint, and your design will be transferred to the foam.
- Tape your design printout to the foam and use a sharp blade to punch through the paper into the foam (see photos above). You want to just lightly score the foam at this point so then when the paper is removed you can still see the design.
- Remove the printout. You should be able to see the design scored lightly into the foam.
- Carefully carve into the foam a little deeper. If you are using a sharp blade you want to carve at an angle going from the side of the lettering toward the middle of the lettering so that you are forming a "V" shape into the foam. The center of the "V" should now be removed, leaving the letter engraved into the foam. (Another option is to use a hot wood carving knife, in which case the foam will melt away. You need to be careful with this technique as it's very easy to melt away too much of the design.)
- Once the design is carved out sufficiently, use dark paint to fill it in.
The epitaphs here are some of my favorites that I have collected over the years.
Do you know any other funny tombstone names or sayings? If so, please share them in the comments below!
More DIY Halloween Ideas
- My 9 Favorite Frugal, Easy, and Scary DIY Halloween Yard Decorations
How to make scary Halloween yard decorations from things you have on hand or can purchase inexpensively.
- How to Make Scary Eyeball Halloween Decorations
This tutorial includes instructions and accompanying images to help you create large, spooky eyeballs to include in your Halloween display.
- 10 of the Most Creative Pumpkin-Decorating Ideas Ever
Make your neighbors scream with envy and have the coolest pumpkins on the block with these awesome pumpkin decorating ideas.
Please share your comments below!
FlourishAnyway from USA on October 18, 2013:
I cannot believe this has had not had any comments. It's too cute and interesting. Voted up and more, plus pinning in time for Halloween.