As a bride-to-be, I heard it all! I want to help people learn what not to say.
I was engaged for just shy of two years before getting married, and this gave people plenty of opportunity to speak without thinking and voice their unsolicited opinions.
Today, I thought I'd share eleven of the many things you simply shouldn't say to a bride-to-be.
1) "It's about time you got engaged!"
My husband and I were together for just over four years when he proposed and, not surprisingly, this was a popular response. For the most part, it didn't bother me, in fact, there were days I thought it myself, but there were some people who said it in snarky and judgmental tones. I'm sorry we didn't court for three minutes, get engaged, blink, get married and the next morning have three children - we're not the Duggars!
2) "Did you know half of all marriages end in divorce?"
First of all, why do people think this okay to say to a bride-to-be? And second, thank you for your outdated information.
3) "What's my role in the wedding?"
If you have to ask, brace yourself, because you might not have one.
4) "Do you need a flower girl/ring bearer?"
Again, if you have to ask, there's a good chance the answer is 'no'.
5) "You weren't kidding about the dog?"
No, no I was not. In all seriousness, if a bride and groom want to incorporate their pet(s) into their wedding, that's their decision. If you don't like it, don't do it at your wedding.
6) "Don't sit me with..."
If you're going to start dictating the seating arrangement, I suggest having a copy of the restraining order in your hand because I can't think of another reason you would be unable to sit at the same table as someone for one meal.
7) "What's your budget?"
Just because you're invited to the event doesn't mean you need to know, think about or try to guess the wedding budget. Asking about the wedding budget is no different than if you invited the bride-to-be to your house for dinner and she asked about your annual income.
8) "Have you started your pre-wedding diet yet?"
The first time I was ever asked this question, my jaw almost hit the floor. I don't know if it was because I found it insulting or if it was because it was coming from a woman I knew for about a month.
9) "Are you really going to wear white?"
Do I really need to explain why this is inappropriate?
10) "Your [dress, ring, veil, etc...] looks just like..."
I don't care if the bride walks down the aisle in a confirmed knock-off of Kate Middleton's wedding dress, don't make comparisons.
11) "Don't panic, but..."
It doesn't matter if she's two weeks into wedding planning or her wedding night is just about to wrap up, don't start sentences with this. "Don't panic" only makes people panic more!
Have you ever said something to a bride-to-be that you later regretted? Have you ever had any of these said to you? What else should you avoid saying to a bride-to-be?
© 2017 M
dashingscorpio from Chicago on February 18, 2017:
Ultimately I guess it really comes down to what kind of relationship the person has always had with the bride along with their existing boundaries.
Some friends and family members have always said whatever comes to their mind and people just accept that's "who they are" and keep it moving.
For others it's a case of being rude while not knowing they're rude, being nosy, negative, or maybe jealous.
Bottom line if what someone else says or thinks throws you off your game it means you're not 100% happily focused on planning your wedding.
Each of us gets to (choose) who spend our time with!