Andrea planned her own wedding during the pandemic, which was an incredibly stressful time. She learned a few tricks along the way.
Writing Thank You Cards in a Timely Manner
Writing thank you cards for your wedding gifts isn't usually people's favorite wedding related activity. It's a chore. It can be hard to find motivation to do it. It is a chance for you to reconnect with friends and family and send them something positive to brighten their day.
The first thing you want to do with your gifts is to be organized about it. You should write down immediately what you were given. Save the list on a computer. You might not touch the list for awhile, and if you don't write things down you might forget who got you what. You don't want to forget what they gave you! It's also important to make an inventory list, so you don't misplace things.
Recommendations for Your Cards
I recommend waiting a little bit, maybe a month or so, before writing the cards. This will give you time to use their gift, and have something to say about it.
Buy all your cards at once. Etsy has a variety of them that you can order online that are cute and come with the envelopes. Buy these before your wedding. That way you're ready for the task in the near future.
I recommend pacing yourself. Don't try to write all the cards at once. You'll burn out and lose your mind. Write a few here and there while you watch TV, listen to music, or the like.
Time yourself to see how fast you can write a card. Don't try to speed write. Write these cards at your normal pace. Spend about a half hour to an hour writing these, and then hit the pause button and save the rest for another time.
You should get stamps and mail them all out at once, that way people are not receiving them all at different times, which could make for some awkwardness if you have one sister who receives a card and another who doesn't.
Remember: people are understanding and have been through this. They know how laborious it is to write cards. They're not going to be disappointed to receive one later than usual.
Writing the Cards
You want to fill up as much space as possible with your words. If you don't have a lot to say then make your handwriting bigger.
- Thank them for the gift.
- Give specifics about the gift, how it comes in handy, or other tidbits that will make the other person feel good. They want to feel validated for what they gave you.
- Your goal is to make the other person feel good for spending money on you.
- Thank them if they came to your wedding and if they traveled a long way to get there.
- Write about any updates you may have: buying a house in the future, moving to a new city, expecting a baby soon. Why? Because thank you cards are letters in a sense, and these should be to people who love you, so why not update them and make them feel included in your life?
- You can also keep things simple and straightforward. You can simply say thank you and be done with it. Thank them for the specific gift, how you'll use it, and the end.
- If they participated in your wedding, thank them for their service whether they were a bridesmaid, musician, greeter, photographer, etc.
- Thank them for any kindness they may have displayed.
- You can use thank you cards to come up with future hang out plans: let's get brunch, I'd like to visit soon, there is more I want to talk about on the phone, etc.
- There shouldn't be a drop of negativity or sarcasm in your thank you cards.
- You may include a picture from the wedding.
Phrases to Use
- "With love"
- "We miss you"
- "We look forward to the next time we get to see you"
- "Thank you for your thoughtful gift"
- "Thank you for traveling to our wedding"
- "We appreciate the gift you gave us"
- "Hope you are doing well"
- "We use your gift all the time"
- "We're so glad you could make it to the wedding"
- "We've been thinking about you"
- "Your gift brought joy to our hearts"
- "We can't wait to make something with the gift you gave us"
- "Thank your for being a part of our wedding"
- "We loved your speech"
- "We loved your toast"
- "We're thinking of coming to visit you later in the year"
- "Best of wishes"
- "Your gift has made our lives easier"
- "We're thankful we have a friend like you"
- "We're excited to use the gift"
- "Thank you for the money (exact amount), it was used on (specifics)"
- "We felt seen when we opened up the box and saw your gift. You truly get us"
- "Your gift is perfect for a number of recipes we use"
- "Your gift is a perfect match for us"
- "We were blown away when we found out what you gave us"
- "Your gift was incredibly thoughtful"
- "We loved getting to see you, and the gift made us feel loved"
- "You should come over sometime, and we can cook for you with our new gift"
- "You always find the best gifts, and we appreciate it"
- "You have great taste in gifts"
- "Thank you for participating in our wedding and helping things go smoothly"
- "Thank you for your support"
- "You are excellent company"
- "Your gift sparks joy"
- "Martha Stewart would be jealous of this gift"
- "Marie Kondo would definitely want us to keep this"
- Write all of your cards with the same pen. Also, whatever pen you used for the cards, use for the envelopes.
- If you make a mistake, start up a new card. You don't want lots of spelling errors, scribbles, and the like.
- Avoid smudges.
- Don't immediately put the card away into the envelope. Let the ink dry first.
- Check to make sure you have the right address for them.
- Reread your card to make sure it makes sense. It's a good idea to space out cards for this reason. It's easy to get distracted and start rambling.
- Make sure your card looks appropriate for thank you cards. It may be fun to send silly cards, but it might not make you look as mature or respectful.
- Buy biodegradable or recyclable cards if possible. Thank you cards can be wasteful, so go green.
- Don't message people to see if they got your card. Don't expect any response from people after sending these.
- Don't wait too long. If it's been more than a year since your wedding, you probably waited too long. However, late is better than never. You can always write about how it took you a long time to get these done. (Just don't go on and on about it.)
- You want to sound secure, happy, confident, and purposeful. Don't complain, don't go into your worries, don't sound ungrateful. Every gift took extra time and thought out of each of your guests.
- If you didn't get them a gift for their wedding ages ago, now is not the time to bring that up.
- Avoid curse words.
- Avoid saying mean things about people from the wedding.
- Avoid drama.
- Don't mention that you're having a hard time adjusting to married life. You don't want to say anything that would spook your friends, family, etc.
- Don't send a thank you card to an ex and go on about the past relationship. Stick to thanking them for the gift.
- If you don't want to write someone a thank you card for any particular reason, because of family drama or something, then skip it. You don't have to write your dad's now second ex-wife a thank you card if this took place right around your wedding. . . but she still got you a gift. If it feels awkward, then it probably really is awkward.
© 2021 Andrea Lawrence