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100 Funny Inspirational Sayings, Quotes, and Phrases

I love sharing jokes, funny quotes, and humorous sayings—anything to make people laugh.

Get inspired—and get laughing—with these funny quotes, phrases, and sayings.

Get inspired—and get laughing—with these funny quotes, phrases, and sayings.

100 Funny Inspirational Sayings and Quotes

  1. In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count; it’s the life in your years.
  2. Here is how you know if your mission on Earth is finished: If you’re alive. it isn’t.
  3. The most important thing is never to stop questioning.
  4. Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there.
  5. Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.
  6. Never think about the mistakes you’ve made. Think about the mistakes you will make.
  7. “To learn to succeed, you must first learn to fail.” —Michael Jordan
  8. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
  9. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  10. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  11. If you cannot repair the brakes on your car, make your horn louder.
  12. Where there’s a will, there’s a way; and where there’s a way, there’s usually a stop sign somewhere along the road.
  13. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away.
  14. Look up for inspiration, look down for concentration, but don’t look side to side for information.
  15. Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.
  16. Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it.
  17. Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor.
  18. Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it.
  19. People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing. That’s why we recommend it daily.
  20. Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce back.
  21. Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing.
  22. Always remember that you are unique . . . just like everybody else.
  23. Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
  24. “Try not to become a man of success, but a man of value.” —Albert Einstein
  25. To find what you seek in life, leave no rock unturned.
  26. Every artist was first an amateur.
  27. The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher the inspiration his life will be.
  28. Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action.
  29. No great man ever complains of want of opportunities.
  30. Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true.
  31. “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” —Wayne Gretzky
  32. If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.
  33. Without inspiration, the best powers of the mind remain dormant. There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.
  34. Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.
  35. Man’s best successes come after the disappointments.
  36. Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot. Make it hot by striking.
  37. Fortune favors the brave.
  38. He who hesitates is lost.
  39. “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” —Albert Einstein
  40. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
  41. Constant dripping hollows out a stone.
  42. Believe you can and you’re halfway there.
  43. Change your thoughts and you change your world.
  44. Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
  45. Great hopes make great men.
  46. Hope for the best. Pray in case of the worst.
  47. It is always the simple that produces the marvelous.
  48. It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.
  49. Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!”
  50. Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.
  51. There are two ways of spreading light: To be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.
  52. We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.
  53. Whoever is happy will make others happy too.
  54. Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.
  55. Life isn’t about finding yourself. It’s about creating yourself.
  56. We don’t see things the way they are. We see them the way we are.
  57. The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be.
  58. A thousand mile journey begins with a single step.
  59. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
  60. “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” —Albert Einstein.
  61. Every man dies, but not every man lives.
  62. The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
  63. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
  64. Breathe. It’s just a bad day. Not a bad life.
  65. People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos, is because things are being loved, and people are being used.
  66. Happiness always sneaks in a door you did not think was open
  67. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
  68. Self-worth comes from one thing – thinking that you are worthy.
  69. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” —Winston Churchill
  70. When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.
  71. “You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” —Albert Einstein.
  72. “Do or Do Not. There is no Try.” —Yoda.
  73. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” —Eleanor Roosevelt
  74. If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?
  75. Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
  76. The harder you fall, the higher you bounce.
  77. The best way to predict the future is to create it.
  78. “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” —Henry Ford
  79. I tried. I failed. I tried again. I failed again, but I failed better.
  80. The trick to getting what you want is knowing what you can get.
  81. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
  82. Instead of thinking what could go wrong, think of what could go right.
  83. Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it over and over.
  84. May the bridges you burned light your way.
  85. The longer you wait for the future, the shorter it will be.
  86. You can have everything you want in life if you just help enough people get what they want in life.
  87. “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” —Bill Cosby
  88. To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
  89. Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.
  90. Don’t wait for something big to occur. Start where you are with what you have—that will always lead you into something greater.
  91. Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was.
  92. You will be miserable for certain if you don’t take the risk to be happy.
  93. We have no choice of what color we’re born or who our parents are or whether we’re rich or poor. What we do have is some choice over what we make of our lives once we’re here.
  94. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
  95. You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
  96. The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.
  97. It is not what they take away from you that counts. It’s what you do with what you have left.
  98. “Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out.” —John Wooden
  99. The difference between try to triumph is a little “umph.”
  100. Instead of just following your dreams, chase them as if they will never return.
"Whoever is happy will make others happy too."

"Whoever is happy will make others happy too."


kylie on January 16, 2018:

hi, amazing quotes one by one the one about not knowing how strong you are until you have no choice, was just written on the blackboard ive got in my house. thanks for all of them.

Kerrina Cynthia on December 08, 2016:

Good quotes indeed,i love no:3

Rupert mob on September 07, 2015:

Very cool and them

Ashton on July 31, 2015:

so awesome for the readers

mack shappy on July 14, 2015:

I did enjoy reading them all...

It was very inspiring and motivational qoutes... Love it so so much!!!

dany0921 on December 10, 2012:

thanks for the quotes .. they really inspire.. although i've read some of them somewhere before, but its just really nice that some takes he's sexy time to write such quotes.... thanks again

fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on August 27, 2012:

Thanks for reading Esrom Art!! I glad you enjoyed them.

Esrom Aritonang from Indonesia on August 25, 2012:

I love to read it all. Funny. Thanks

Neil Sperling from Port Dover Ontario Canada on August 18, 2012:


fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on August 18, 2012:

LOL very clever. But it was indeed a question so I felt the need to reply. Do you think I was wrong for replying? :)

Neil Sperling from Port Dover Ontario Canada on August 18, 2012:

LOL -- I was just following the advise in number three and asked a question..... do you think it needed a reply?

fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on August 18, 2012:

Hi Neil. First off, thanks for reading. The reason I decided to list number 3 is because these quotes and sayings are meant to inspire. Sometimes when the mind goes blank or hits a road block, the best thing one can do is ask questions. The great thing about questions is that they usually inspire many different answers.

Neil Sperling from Port Dover Ontario Canada on August 18, 2012:

Good quotes -- I understand about being a candle or a mirror (51) but why is number 3 even listed? I love quotes.....

frogyfish from Central United States of America on August 03, 2012:

Enjoyable words, thoughts. Think my favorite must be #79. A great collection, here. Thanks!

fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on July 19, 2012:

Thanks, glad you enjoyed Nikki!

Dorothy Robinson Woods from Mobile, Al on July 12, 2012:

Interesting hub!!

fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on July 12, 2012:

Hi stars. Thank you for taking the time to read this hub. God bless you and your lovely daughter as well. You have some great looking hubs that I look forward to reading.

stars439 from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State. on July 11, 2012:

Enjoyed reading you're hub. God Bless You.

fresh2def05 (author) from Louisville, Ky on July 11, 2012:

Hi, thanks for reading and i'm very glad you enjoyed these inspirational quotes. I created this hub in hopes of motivating people to follow and execute there goals and dreams.

Trinity M on July 11, 2012:

Great hub, loved all the quotes. #19 was my favourite. Thanks for sharing these inspirations and how true they all are. Up and interesting.