35 Funny and Inspirational Lawyer Quotes
The Best Lawyer Quotes
This article contains the best lawyer quotes: funny, inspirational, and famous quotes about lawyers and their careers. It also includes thank-you quotes for lawyers for those who have benefited from their services and wish to find the right words to show appreciation. Please feel free to comment at the end and share your own favorite quotes as well.
Quotes About Being a Lawyer
- “A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.” —Mario Puzo
- “You win some and you lose some, but you get paid for all of them.” —Anonymous
- “I don't think you can make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You've got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer.” —Will Rogers
- “The good lawyer is not the man who has an eye to every side and angle of contingency, and qualifies all his qualifications, but who throws himself on your part so heartily, that he can get you out of a scrape.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “You cannot live without the lawyers, and certainly you cannot die without them.” —Joseph H. Choate
- “A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.” —H. L. Mencken
- “To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box.” —Jerry Seinfeld
- “In America, an acquittal doesn't mean you're innocent, it means you beat the rap. My clients lose even when they win.” —F. Lee Bailey
- The Lawyer's Motto:
"Insofar as manifestations of functional deficiencies are agreed by any and all concerned parties to be imperceivable, and are so stipulated, it is incumbent upon said heretofore mentioned parties to exercise the deferment of otherwise pertinent maintenance procedures.
In other words, if it ain't broke, don't fix it." —Anonymous
- “Law students are trained in the case method, and to the lawyer everything in life looks like a case.” —Edward Packard, Jr.
Funny Lawyer Quotes
- “I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.” —Stephen Wright
- “The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.” —William Shakespeare King Henry VI Part 2.
- “Lawyers are just like physicians: what one says, the other contradicts.” —Sholom Aleichem
- “A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a "brief." —Franz Kafka
- “The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.” —Will Rogers
- “A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.” —Patrick Murray
- "I don't like lawyers, nannie." "No one likes lawyers, little boy." —J. P. Donleavy
- “Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.” —Jeremy Bentham
- “In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.” —Lenny Bruce
- “I feel like I wanna cut class today.” “Why, is it Law?” —Fehl Dungo
- “He who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.” —Proverb
- “Only lawyers and painters can turn white to black.” —Japanese Proverb
Quotes About Lawyers by Famous People
- "If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers.” —Charles Dickens
- “When you have no basis for an argument, abuse the plaintiff.” —Cicero
- “In England, justice is open to all—like the Ritz Hotel.” —Sir James Mathew
- “You are remembered for the rules you break.”—Douglas MacArthur
- “Don't misinform your Doctor nor your Lawyer.” —Benjamin Franklin
- “The lawyer's truth is not Truth, but consistency or a consistent expediency.” —Henry David Thoreau
- “A lawyer without books would be like a workman without tools.” —Thomas Jefferson
- “The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law.” —Jeremy Bentham
- “A lawyer without history or literature is a mechanic, a mere working mason; if he possesses some knowledge of these, he may venture to call himself an architect.” —Sir Walter Scott
Thank-You Quotes for Lawyers
- "Thank you for representing me. My situation would be much worse without your research, diligence, and hard work."
- “Thank you, attorney, for being an exceptional lawyer. This issue wouldn’t be fixed without your excellent skills.”
- “You’re a good friend, and you've been an incredible help with my troubles. Thank you, attorney.”
- Thank you for the effort you put into my case. You did me a big service. You will always be welcome in my home."